$, Sense, and Shan

Saturday afternoon @ Timmies

2011-11-26T13:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve been sitting at Tim Hortons at Sheppard between McCowan and Markham for the last hour. I’m waiting for my mom’s car to get fitted with snow tires, so I have about 2 hours to kill.

Tim Hortons blows me away – it is a brand that resonates with all races and income levels (except for the 1%ers who frequent Starbucks in Lulu Lemon pants). The rest of us 99%ers really do enjoy a good double double. This location has been pretty entertaining thus far. I’m watching an old lady wrap up her last bite of a massive (and likely her only) meal – she had a coffee, a yogurt parfait, a bagel, a donut, and a soup. She is now chilling out finishing the last of her coffee and taking the hustle and bustle all in. This has got to be better than Golden Girls re-runs on the Life Network.

Next to me sits an older Indian gentleman, about 45-50 years in age…he is filling out an employment form for Tim Hortons. He sits straight as he fills it, making sure that all his I’s are dotted, and t’s crossed – the look of hope in his eyes. I wonder what his story is … I feel bad that circumstances brought him to apply to work at Timmies…but then I realize…Timmies is truly a great company – they make it possible for folks like him to be employed in an environment that isn’t very demeaning. At his age where else can he get work? He presses down on his pen to make sure the ink is spread evenly – I bet that shit can be read by a blind person once he is done – you know when you can feel the imprints of the writing on the back of the page? Almost like braille – haha. He gets up, folds the page neatly and quietly slips it to one of the Chinese ladies behind the counter. Our friend then straightens his jacket and walks out the door like he had a winning lottery ticket in his hand…I wish him luck.

The rest of the restaurant is filled with a motley crew of different races sharing a moment with their Timmie beverages and baked goods. There are a few singles, like me, sitting and watching – watching the Saturday afternoon play that unfolds before us. My eyes dart between a Somali daughter/father combo sharing a cookie and drinking coffees. He is on the phone discussing something heatedly about his relatives; switching between English and Somali with ease. The daughter swings her legs, shifts her Minnie Mouse toque and enjoys the cookie. She enjoys any time that she gets to spend with her father – even when he is yapping away on the phone. You can tell – she takes a bite, looks around, and then stares up at her father with big brown eyes. Yes, he is still there – at least she has him for now, stuck to his seat by the power of a coffee.

The counter staff is a well-oiled machine of Chinese and Sri Lankan workers…they find a common ground between the donuts and sandwich center. I’ve figured it out – the Chinese ladies make the beverages and the Sri Lankan women run the food counters – they’ve harmonized a balance that seems to be working this morning. Mandarin is discussed beside the coffee pots and Tamil behind the stacks of bagels – it’s funny but awesome.
The warm sun filters through the windows and casts a glow into the place – I feel a tear in my eye…haha kidding. But it really is cool to see what Timmies has managed to create around a cup of coffee.

…A kid walked in about 20 minutes ago, wearing grey track pants, some old school Nikes and a Roots hoodie. He walked from table to table selling chocolate almonds – no takers thus far. He didn’t seem fazed by the rejections…some patrons were saying a “No” with a smile, others shot him accusatory glances for invading their private moments with their double doubles. I smiled. I smiled because this kid reminded me of me. I spent many cold and hot days walking around selling stuff to strangers. I was pretty fearless as a pre-teen – knocking on doors to canvass for the Toronto Sun, selling poppies with Air Cadets, selling telephone long distance, insurance on gas, anything and everything. It taught me to connect with anyone on any level, it also allowed me to grow a pair…get over the fear of rejection and get on with it. I like that initiative in people – especially in kids…and when I see it I reward it. I knew I would buy a box from this kid – I wanted to reward him for spending his Saturday morning selling chocolates for a school charity versus watching Saturday cartoons – like I said…he reminded me of me!
He walks up and asks me if I want to buy a box – I engage him to make him earn the money and see if he would upsell me.

“What are you selling this for”?

“Sir, this is for a charity that helps buy gifts for kids who don’t have the means to buy necessary items like clothing, shoes, etc” (check, he knew what his objective was)

“Hmm okay, I’ll buy one – do you have change for a $20?”

“I do Sir, but I can give you a deal if you buy three…its one for $4 and 3 for $10. If I sell all my chocolates today, I get a chance to win a bike” (wow, this motherfucka was upselling me…good for him)

“Alright let’s do three then my friend”

I hand him the $20, he has $10 in his hand already…as he passes me the change he comments “wow you have a iphone and a blackberry” – staring at the two phones on the table, his eyes wide with excitement.

“Yup, one is for work and one is for play” I take the $10 and the chocolate boxes and tuck them in my bag.

“Thank you sir” the kid mumbles as he walks away…he takes 3 steps stops and turns around. “Who do you work for sir?”

This kid was impressive, not only did he complete the sale he was actually showing genuine interest in something outside his immediate objective – getting to know his customer!

“GE, General Electric”

“GE? Oh okay…thanks sir” he waves and runs out the door. He has pep in his walk now – selling three boxes in one location – pimp! I watch the guy walk down the street – he’ll do well, I think to myself. That little seed of curiosity, the character of determination and hard work will take him far. Good for him.

I smile – that little fucker took me for $10 bucks. Oh well, I’ll present the chocolates to my mechanic and my mom. They’ll both be happy.

I just got the call – the car is ready – signing out at Tim Hortons.

Hold my hand...(or someone else's)

2010-12-27T15:02:00.001-08:00

Akon's song is coming through my laptop's speakers - inspiring the title to this blog. I don't really need someone to hold my hand per se...it would be nice though ;)

I haven't written an entry in a while, in fact, I think the last one was in September 2010 - tsk tsk. I just finished watching a movie "The Girl With the Pearl Earring", but this blog isn't a movie review (although the movie was entertaining). The point, though, was that the painter was uninspired and couldn't paint his masterpieces...okay I'm far from a worldclass writer - but sadly, when I'm not inspired I cannot write. I get writer's block and I'm not even a professional write lol - go figure.

So what can I say about the last three months? I've been holed up in a small picturesque town in Rheine, Germany. Amazingly quaint and beautiful, especially with fresh snow! It truly is a postcard...an experience as unique as Cairo.

I live in an apartment at the top of a small, family-run hotel - I can see the local church from my windows and enjoy a panoramic view of the city centre. This is the sort of town where people go for evening walks, leave their doors unlocked, buy premium cuts of meat from the local organic butcher, and churn butter in their backyards (k I kid about the butter). You get the idea.

Germany is everything you think it would be - modern but classy, efficient, utilitarian, just enough. I can't say enough about the cars here - I am officially in love with Bimmers and Benzes...for all the drivers out there - YOU HAVE TO DRIVE ON THE AUTOBAHN. No one has experienced driving until they've taken a spin on the autobahn; pedal to the metal, weaving through traffic without so much as a glance at the speedometer. One of the best feelings I've had in my life.

Last week, Osama and I visited Rome for six days. We had time off during Christmas and decided we wanted to do the Vatican on Christmas Eve. Rome was aight, I would give it a 7/10 - I mean the city itself is full of Indians and Arabs - not Italians - and the ruins are well...ruined? Beautiful city but nothing as orgasmic as everyone makes it out to be. The pasta? Yuck. The pizza? Yuck. Ya ya, I've heard it before; "you didn't go the right place" - but fuck I'm in Italy, can there be a wrong place? I mean, if you land in Lebanon and eat hummus at any restaurant, it should at least taste as good as the hummus you get in the grocery store back home right? There is no such thing as the wrong place to get hummus in Lebanon.

Okay, getting back to the title "Hold my hand..." When one travels one gets to relish unique experiences that one wouldn't otherwise encounter. When was the last time you connected with a stranger in Toronto? When you travel you connect all the time, it's a really cool experience. Let me tell you a story:

Osama and I hopped on the city train from the Rome International Airport to the city centre. The train was crowded and smelled like wet socks - but we managed to grab a seat and ended up striking up a conversation with a really kind looking girl. She was from a small village in Southern Italy and was on her way back home from a Shakira concert in London...she had won it on the radio! I guess those contests do work!

35 minutes later we were standing on the main platform at Termini station. I pulled out a map to figure out where our hotel was - Google maps had said it was about a 15 minute walk from the station. While I'm poring over the map, Osama takes the building in. A girl walks up to him and mumbles something - I half pay attention, figuring she is asking the time or something. Osama looks and me and then her "sorry no Italian" he says. The corner of her lips tremble, her eyes well up with tears, and she walks away. What the fuck?

Now I'm looking at this girl walk away. She has two massive suitcases, well-dressed, long brown hair, with a heavy-set build. My curiosity (and humility) were on red alert - I needed to know what the deal was. "Yo what did she want man?" I asked Osama, he shrugged.

I do a wide circle around this girl. She is staring at the departures screen - a blank stare. She isn't reading anything. Tears stream down her face and she stands clutching her bags tightly. This is one of those times in life when you have to figure out what type of man you are. I had to make sure she was okay. I walk up gingerly and ask "hey, are you okay...are you safe?" She speaks English - her eyes look up at me and explains that she missed her train to her destination and she now had to spend the night in Rome as the next train was early in the morning. I look down at my watch, 9pm. She asked me if there were any hostels in the area.

"Listen, I'm not from here, but I know we're booked in a hotel that is 15 minutes from here...why don't you come with us and see if they have a room for you too?"

She hesitated - looked up and down at me, then Osama. I smiled and she nodded her head. I'm not sure if you guys have been to Italy, but there are fucking stairs everywhere. She fought to carry her own luggage for the first flight and then gave in - Osama and I used the muscles that God had blessed us with ;). We walked around for about 20 minutes asking people for directions. She was starting to feel a little more comfortable - telling us that she was in Italy for an internship. A 22-year old Brazilian studying Industrial Engineering in San Paolo, she was supposed to be in Italy for two months on a dream fashion internship - what a start to this dream.

We finally find our hotel and walk to the front desk. Luckily Marissa (the front clerk) had an extra room for our friend and even offered her a cheap rate. I invited Thais for dinner; after all she had had a rough start to her trip to Italy.

About an hour later, the three of us were drinking a bottle of wine and sharing pizza. She was laughing.

While we didn't hold her hand - we might as well have. Connect.

One step closer to work/life balance

2010-09-14T04:12:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while you have an experience that changes a small part of you forever. A movie, a good night with friends/family, a concert – some event that becomes a small building block of who you become after that event.

I had one yesterday.

It started early in the morning, I was up at 4am, due to jetlag, and decided to go to the gym. My body doesn’t know which time zone I’m in so everything feels a little foggy. As I am deciding on my next exercise a gentleman walks up to me and offers me a handshake, I instinctively respond by meeting his hand and saying “good morning”. He looks like an American football coach or an ex Navy-Seal, this is further established with his vice grip…a real strong handshake. “So are you one of the auditors here as well”, he asks.

The conversation starts and he tells me he is going to speak to our group in the morning and that he is CEO of Coca Cola for West Africa. Wow. This is the equivalent of a hip hop junkie meeting P. Diddy in the gym. Many of my friends are into sports and entertainment…me…I’m into business. As soon as he tells me about Coca Cola, my mind starts racing on how I can learn more from him without being creepy in the gym. Eventually I stop asking him random questions and go about my workout.

A few hours later he is on stage speaking to about 400 colleagues and myself. His was one of the best speakers I have ever seen. The topic? Life lessons on managing corporate responsibilities and living your life – work/life balance. Throughout the span of 2 hours, James Lafferty provided us with 16 tips…I will share them with you below:

1. Define your “5 roles” in life and make choices. The average person has 22 roles in life (father, boyfriend, sibling, son/daughter, worker, coach, etc. etc). You can only do 5 roles at any given time…figure out what they are and stick to them.
2. Use 1 schedule for life – don’t have a work calendar and a personal calendar. “That’s just dumb”.
3. On defining moments in life – choose family. Never miss a birthday or special anniversary of loved ones.
4. Take real vacations. Don’t check email or BB when away, let your mind relax.
5. Master writing – job fundamentals of presenting your idea in a way that is understood by others.
6. Practice 80 to 20…not everything needs to be perfect. Get most things to 80% and move on. Carefully pick the 100 percenters.
7. Train your people.
8. 30 minutes of exercise a day
9. Keep relationships well-fed (pay attention to your loved ones)
10. Leverage technology, but be smart about it.
11. Make a list of 100 things to do before you die – do 2/year
12. People rise to your highest expectations or sink to your lowers. Trust and delegate.
13. Use the “mother” rule. Don’t fuck around debating ideas…make a decision and get on with it.

14. Eat the China way – as much food that is “grown” rather than “raised”
15. Integrate work and life
16. Give back – if you’re reading this blog – you have enough to eat. Help others with your luck and fortune.

I look around at my generation and we’re a bunch of overworked, unhappy pricks. We love to complain (generally) and engage in many self-fulfilling activities. Most people have 2 phones, 2 laptops, enough shoes and clothes to benefit a small African village. What can we do to change? Obviously, I ain’t gonna become Mother Teresa overnight but I will use some of tips above to try and make a difference in my life.

Speaking of which – for the first three people that respond to this blog and tell us which of the 16 they will incorporate in their lives…I will buy a mango tree for a school in Africa. These trees will be planted in a schoolyard and will be tended to by the children. Obviously, they’ll be able to reap the ‘fruits’ of their labour. Mangos – yum!
Beace.

Sucker buys Sony. (LOL)

2010-08-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends, Ashvin, was recently in the market for a new laptop. I wholeheartedly recommended the Macbook for him – you see, he is going to China and will undoubtedly looking to use the computer for 5 things: music, movies, photos, communicating back home, and porn.

There is not computer on the market today that does all of the above as well as a Mac. I was disheartened to hear that he was leaning towards a Sony Vaio. A PC…really? His rationale? “Shan, for the same price as Macbook, I can get a fully-loaded Sony Vaio with all the trimmings.” Fair argument – but to that – I have one comment…

A Porsche costs $80-100 thousand dollars. Imagine you bought a Honda Civic for $20 thousand and then dropped another $60 thousand into it? On paper the Civic would blow the Porsche’s numbers out of the water (horsepower, GPS, sound system, brakes, etc, etc). BUT, at the end of the day, the Civic will never be a Porsche.

Enjoy the PC buddy!

I don’t mind blatantly promoting the Apple product – after all these guys really have the most superior customer experience in the personal computer industry. What other company allows you access to their ‘geeks’ for free? What other company has welcoming stores that immerse you into the Apple culture. I didn’t get it, until I bought a Mac. I love my laptop – it is the most consistent and reliable piece of electronics that I have ever bought.

Okay enough head to Apple. Let’s talk about something else…

Ramadan in Egypt. It is an experience alright! Even the famous cabbies are friendly during Ramadan. I happened to be in a cab during Iftar (around 630pm, when the Muslims can break their fast with food) – the cabbie reached into his bag and offered me some dates. Dates are traditionally used to break the fast – something sweet in your mouth after a day of not eating. I was touched J.

People stay up till 4-5 am during Ramadan – they eat their last meal around 4am and then go to sleep for a few hours before heading off to work at 9am in the morning. Some are so strict that they do not brush their teeth when they wake up (believe me, I know). But Ramadan in Egypt is a surreal experience…the days seem a little more hotter, a little more Arabic, a little more authentic. For the first time, I feel like I’m in a different culture. Even the stray cats are quieter and more timid. It is a very friendly, good-natured time here. Almost akin to how people become really nice around Christmas.

Looking back at my time in Cairo – I am happy to have come. I’ve met amazing people who have really embraced me into their way of life. I watch movies with some of the people I work with – go to eat with them – smoke sheesha…the Egyptians just welcome you into their fold and you feel at home.

I love the feeling of dust in my shoes when I walk around the city. I love the way the top of my forehead begins to bead with sweat after stepping out into the hot sun. It makes you feel real. It makes you feel human.

I love the way I have to walk around garbage on the street, as the putrid fumes pollute my lungs. Its disgusting – but its evidence that real people live here. In Cairo, you can bump into someone and not flinch – people just go about their business. Try bumping into someone in Toronto…cold stares pierce you for invading personal space.

It’s a good place here. A real place.

Happy 27 year anniversary

2010-08-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

July 25, 1983 – it was a hot, humid day in Colombo, Sri Lanka – I was three years old.

My family and I just shared the 27 year anniversary of the start of the civil war in Sri Lanka. There had been occasional skirmishes between the Tamils and the Sinhalese in the past, but July 25, 1983 marked the beginning of a long and terrible war that would tear this beautiful, little island apart.

So why do the Tamils and Sinhalese have problems? During the British occupation, the Tamils (the minority) were put in charge of key government posts and therefore effectively controlled the Sinhalese (the majority). After the British left, the majority (Sinhalese) took over and proceeded to discriminate and prejudice against the Tamils. I’m no expert on the matter – but that, I believe, is the gist of it.

This isn’t a story about the politics of the issue in Sri Lanka – violence on behalf of anything is essentially wrong. I’ve met amazing Sinhalese and Tamil people – in fact I owe my life to a Sinhalese family (more on that later).

This is a story about a family…my family. Like many other Tamils we faced Armageddon on July 25.

1983 - The radio crackled with reports of violent mobs attacking Tamils at random. Houses were being burnt, Tamil businesses were looted, and Tamil people were massacred on the streets. We had just finished lunch and were crowded around the radio trying to imagine the horrors away. My father paced up and down the veranda…”everyone get dressed and wear your shoes, in case we need to leave in a hurry”. My grandma scoffed – you see, we lived in a privileged part of town and figured that the police and other security forces would protect the rich. Imagine violence breaking out in Jane and Finch, what do you think the families on Bridlepath would be doing?

No one paid heed to my father, I was sent to bed for my afternoon nap and the rest lazed around enjoying the fan. My father was dressed and ready with his Adidas runners snug to his feet. Fearing the worst, he decided to go pick my sister up from school – he didn’t want to wait until the end of the school day as the violence might get worse.

After roaring the Ford 500 to life, he navigated out of our luscious enclave and onto the noisy streets of Mount Lavinia (a neighbourhood in Colombo). Racing past burning cars and angry mobs, my dad rushed to the school, threw my sister into the car and proceeded back home. It had gotten markedly worse…the scene was one out of a horror movie. There were bodies hanging from street lamps, chopped and bleeding – some still alive, suffering a slow death. Stores had windows smashed out with fires everywhere. People were being pulled out of cars and either chopped up with machetes or set ablaze with petrol and a match. My sister sat in the car sweating, she was 13 years old.

Up ahead, traffic had slowed to a stand still. My father honked his horn – what was going on? He gulped as he realized the reason for the jam. All cars were being stopped by the mob to determine whether the occupants were Tamil or Sinhalese. If Tamil, petrol was thrown into the car and the occupants were set on fire. The screams of anarchy filled the street.

A sweaty 20-something year old sticks his head into the Ford – “are you Tamil or Sinhalese” he asks in Sinhalese. “How dare you fucking ask me that question? Don’t we look Sinhalese?” my father answers in perfect Sinhalese. “Sorry – sir, please go on”. My father’s zest for education and learning had saved his and my sister’s life. He was fluent in both languages.

They both rushed home and told the others what they had seen. We were all hoping and praying that the army or police would step in to help quell this chaos. Too much life had already been lost. Could this disaster find its way to Mount Lavinia? What were we to do?

Our fears were answered when the servant girl came running down the lane, yelling “they’re coming! They’re coming!”. She locked the front gates and ran into the house. This was a man’s worst nightmare…my father was the only man in the house; the others were: my grandma (old), my mom, my great-aunt, my cousin (16ish), my sister (13), our servant girl, and I (3 yrs old). What would you do? You’re trapped in a house with a rabid mob coming down the only street that was the way out. There is no 911. What do you do?

My father barked out orders…he told my cousin, my sister, and I to jump our garden wall and run to the Sinhalese neighbours – we were to hide in their basement. My grandma ran to the safe and retrieved a revolver. This was the service pistol that had been presented to my grandfather who was a colonel in the Sri Lankan army. She handed the gun and 6 bullets to my father. “God bless you my son” she whispered as she ran out into the compound to find a place to hide. My father looked down at the foreign object…he had never held a gun before.

The mob was nearing our front gates, we could now hear their blood curdling calls for death. Everything happened so fast – my cousin hopped to the top of the wall, reached down and threw me over. He did the same for the servant girl too. My sister was last, he tried with all his might, but couldn’t lift her over the top. She scrambled to climb the wall and kept losing her grip. Panic struck, and she ran back into the garden to find my grandmother. My cousin, the servant girl, and I ran to the neighbours, where we were ushered down to the basement. It was hot, everyone was sweating. I gladly accepted their offer for a drink.

My sister and grandma frantically looked for a hiding spot, finally settling on the servant’s bathroom quarters. It was a small outhouse, with a wooden door. Not exactly Fort Knox, but at the time it would have to do.

The mob was now tearing our front gates apart. These weren’t white picket fence type gates from Home Depot, they were well-built, iron wrought and towered over a normal person. The mob broke through effortlessly. As they approached the house, my mother, father, and great aunt stood in the front. My dad had seen his share of Westerns and based on John Wayne, he somehow figured to load the 6 bullets into the chambers of the revolver. He looked to his side and locked eyes with my mother. Was this how it was going to end?

He then turned his head and connected his eyes to death…about 50 versions of death. They were young men armed with molkotov cocktails, chains, knives, pitchforks, and machetes. “Come out from in front of the house” they yelled, ready to shred my family to pieces.

“You lot should be in school. Why are you doing this? We are all the same people!” My father was trying to talk them down into a lesson on history. He was a professor at heart, a very non-violent man. For about 15 minutes he went back and forth with the mob, explaining to them that Buddha was a Hindu as well and so there was no need for this. They began to approach menacingly.

His arm raised and he fired a shot into the air. The noise startled him and the mob. “There are 5 bullets left in this gun, I might die here today, but not before I take 5 of you with me. Who wants to be first?” This slowed their approach – they had now begun to circle the house. Thugs were running around the back of the house, setting the place on fire. They left my mom, dad, and great-aunt for now. My father turned around to see our family home on fire…he ran into it without thinking. Grab the bedsheets, douse them in water, grab shoes, run back outside. My mother and great aunt stepped into the shoes and they all covered themselves with the drenched bedsheets and ran into the burning house. My father knew that the room least likely to burn was the bathroom. It was built with ceramic tiles and so wouldn’t burn as easily as the rest of the rooms. The outer shell of a space shuttle and some high-end car brakes are made up of ceramics. This is because ceramic can withstand high temperatures.

Knock knock “open the door!”, yelled a thug. My sister and grandma cowered in the dark toilet. It was quiet for a second and then a spear was launched through the wooden door – my sister screamed. The group pulled the door apart, and my grandma and sister stepped into the sunlight. They were ready for the worst. My grandma turned to the leader of the mob “son, why are you doing this? I could be your grandma”…her last attempt to plead for their lives. It could have been a few seconds, but felt like eternity for my sister. “Let them go, make sure they get to the police station safely” ordered the leader. A miracle. These young men, who seconds ago, were ready to use their machetes on a 60 year old and a 13 year old, suddenly remembered that they were human. They escorted my sister and grandma to the nearest police station.

The universe works in funny ways. A government aide was driving down the main road of our neighbourhood and noticed that the area was under attack by the mobs as well. He stopped and ran to the nearest phone booth (he was Sinhalese and not in immediate danger). The gentleman picked up on the other end…a member of parliament and one of my father’s best friends – also Sinhalese. “Sir, I think your friend’s house might be in trouble” The aide new my father and was sure that the mob had made their way to our house. Stanley, my father’s friend, hung up and rung the police department in the area. He instructed the Chief to send a jeep to see if we were alright. The jeep was sent out and came back saying that the house was ablaze and they didn’t see anyone. The Jegatheeswaran family is presumed to be dead.

The officers were half right – the house was ablaze and the mobs had long disbursed. But three people still remained on the property: my father, mother, and great aunt. They were still trapped in the bathroom. The temperature was so high that the paint on the bathroom door was bubbling – to keep from fainting my father told the ladies to drink water. They turned the taps on but nothing came out, water pipes had burst amidst the violence. The only water left was that of the toilet. My mother refused to drink it, until she saw my dad dunk his cupped hand into the bowl and drink the water.

My sister and grandma were now in the police station, a scene of chaos, pain, and tears. The officers were unresponsive to the pleas of the people – they were not getting involved. My grandma elbowed her way to the front and yelled that she was the wife of the former colonel in the Sri Lankan army – this perked some interest but not enough for them to mobilize. Stanley (my father’s MP friend) called the police station and while he was on the phone, my grandma overhead “Jegatheeswaran” - she yelled that that was her son-in-law. She connected with Stanley, who was able to send out another jeep with my grandma and sister to find us (my cousin, the servant girl and myself). They drove off back into our neighbourhood and began yelling our names. Our Sinhalese hosts heard them calling and were able to escort us to my grandma and sister. A part of our family was reunited – safely. We drove back to the station.

All was suddenly quiet at the main family residence. The cackling of the fire had subdued and my parents and great-aunt huddled in the bathroom. They heard some movement outside, and someone faintly calling their names. My father picked up a piece of broken glass from the floor and used it to look outside via a reflection rather than sticking his head out the window. He was wary that it could be some lone thug looking for final revenge. The reflection showed three men in uniform…one of them was his brother-in-law, my cousin's father. My uncle was a major in the army and had raced to Mount Lavinia when he heard that there were riots – he knew that his son was spending the day with us.

The trio gingerly opened the burnt door and stepped into the house. Their family home looked like a movie set from Hollywood. Steaming furniture and soot covered everything. Burnt carcasses of furniture replaced what had once been a beautiful room. The fridge had melted – the fridge! They walked into the sunlight and were met by my uncle who was in shock. He felt as though he were staring at three ghosts.

The army jeep grabbed the rest of the gang from the police station and we drove to the protection of the army. A refugee camp had been set up in airplane hangars. We walked in and sat amongst the crowd. I fell asleep on top of my father and somehow managed to pee on him during my sleep (don’t ask me why). Beside us, sat a beggar and her two children. She was feeding her kids some stale bread that they had found. I looked at them with big, hungry eyes – she broke a piece and handed me some. To this day I remember the kindness of someone with so little.

My sister looked up at my mother and asked “are we going to be poor for the rest of our lives now?” A valid question from a 13 year old. We had just lost our entire life – the only thing that was left was some money in the bank and the clothes on our backs. Family photos, furniture, cars, gold, jewewllry, books, memories – all burned in a single afternoon.

My uncle couldn’t stay with us as he had to mobilize troops. His son (my cousin) ran around the base looking for a familiar face. He found a friend of his father’s and begged them to drive us out of the refugee camp – we planned to go to Stanley’s house. If you remember, Stanley was a member of parliament and my father’s friend.

We spent the next few days recovering from the shock. My mother remembers taking a shower for the first time after the ordeal, she was surprised to see that the water going into the drain was black. She looked at the shower head to see if the water coming through was clean. We later found out that they were covered in soot from head to toe, the only thing visible were their eyes and nostrils. Its funny how little you feel and notice when you’re fighting for your life!

Yet another miracle from the universe. An ocean away, my father’s best friends sat in their living rooms in Germany aghast at the activites in Sri Lanka. They then heard that Colombo was burning – oh my God – this is where our dear Jegi lives – thought the Germans. My father’s short name was Jegi.

All the Germans contacted each other and then phoned the German embassy in Sri Lanka. One of them had some pull with the German government and so the ambassador was very attentive to her demands. “Put them on a plane and send them to Germany – give them German citizenship if you need to”. This is why my father thinks the world of the Germans – I do too.

We were sent for by the German embassy who at once offered my father a German passport. He refused. I will go back to Germany, but I will go back as a Sri Lankan. We were on a KLM flight the next day. Upon arrival, we were greeted at the airport by a group of my father’s friends. They didn’t know each other – but knew that they all had a connection with ‘Jegi’. All of them had arranged to buy a few pairs of the essentials for us – toothbrushes, clothes, even photos that they had of us! My parents moved to a small German town, where my dad took up a post as Professor of Engineering.

So began the next day of the rest of our lives…

We were all able to make it from this experience because of the acts of kindness, courage, and morality shown by so many people. Undoubtedly, there was a little divinity involved.

It is easy to forget, 27 years later, what my parents have gone through to afford me the luxuries that I have. I thank them and only hope that if faced with adversity, I rise to the challenge as my father and mother did.

My crumpled 10 EGP

2010-06-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

Just coming up on my fourth week in Egypt…the last couple of days have been especially amazing. I decided to make a weekend trip to Sharm el Sheikh – a popular holiday spot by the Red Sea. Yesterday I watched the limp game between Brazil and Portugal. While the game was forgettable, my experience was anything but. It was close to 50C in the sun, a little cooler in the shade. I sat in a comfy wicker chair sipped on fresh watermelon juice, smoked on strawberry sheesha and watched the game with an Arabic commentator. Behind me lay the turquoise waters of the Red Sea and in front were huge desert dunes – a surreal experience.

I had an urge to blog last night but I hung out instead. This afternoon seems like the perfect opportunity to put thoughts to screen. Jay-Z “Song Cry” is playing on itunes right now…brings back memories…what do the songs from the blueprint album make you think of? I’m sure it defined a summer for you…for me…the summer I spent with Toops in Waterloo, 2001. Anyway, 2010…here…now…9 years later, in Sharm sitting in an outdoor café surrounded by the hotel’s pool. Very cool spot to work (or blog).

Sharm is a getaway for Russians – I’d say 70% of the guests at the hotel are Ruskies. I’m also happy to say that there are also Egyptians here enjoying their own country. When was the last time you saw a Dominican enjoying their resorts? Or a Cuban having a mojito in the pool with you? Egypt derives a lot of revenue from tourism – but unlike other parts of the world, Egyptians are also enjoying their own shit too. This I like.

One drawback here (as in many other foreign countries) is that white people are treated with slightly more respect and attention. This must go back to the colonial mentality - it is actually pretty ironic. The only place where I find white people are not treated differently in normal life is well….Europe and North America! In Canada you have the right to question discrimination or at least make a scene about it. In fact I usually don’t feel like a second-class citizen in the US or Canada. In Africa, Middle East, and Asia discrimination is accepted; the only thing is that they discriminate in against the locals and in favour of Europeans/Americans! “They might have given us our independence but we still treat them like masters when they come to visit us on holidays”. Strange.

Before I forget – I have to let you know about the second fight I’ve gotten into with a cabbie. I’m sick and tired of being ripped off – so now I do the unthinkable – I bring Allah into the argument. This motherfucker (sorry for the harsh language but he deserves it, and he probably really does fuck mothers, haha)…picks me up from my hotel. I have no idea where my destination, Hard Rock café is. I ask him about the meter and he says they don’t use it in Sharm – okay – I’ll take his word (first mistake). He quotes me 50EGP ($10 CAD). I knew this was way too much as it isn’t even 50EGP to the airport. I finally bring him down to 20EGP ($4). We literally drive for 3 minutes, he stops and announces that we’re here and asks me if I’m Muslim. I flip out. I asked him what kind of Muslim he was, Islam doesn’t allow you to cheat and lie…what would Allah think. Lol. He gets offended – I get out of the car and fish in my pockets for a 10 note ($2). I was not paying 20EGP for this bullshit ride. The only note I had was a crumpled 20 – fuck – but I wasn’t letting this go. I ask him if he has change and he replies “la” (NO). So I tell him to wait and I would go get change cuz I AINT PAYING 20. Fuck it was hot and I was sweating. He yells at me and tells me to get back into the car – I said no. Finally he opens his glove box and shows me change…damn liar. I yell “give me ashra (10) – I will give you 20”. Back and forth for another minute. I say, “fine lets get the BOLICE” (they don’t say P in Arabic…think BIZZA, BOLICE, BUSSY, ahaha). He relents and gives me the 10 and I give him my 20. He wags his finger furiously and yells “you no good! you mafia!” and peels off. I smile…I now have a crumpled 10 in my pocket.

The rest of the afternoon was great. The Brazil game was on…see the above paragraph.

I fly back to the busy, bustling streets of Cairo. Car horns, throaty Arabic, cigarette smoke, soot, hijabs, cotton pants with gold buckles…ahhh my home away from home. I have three work days and then fly back to Toronto for my cousin’s wedding. Rathika is younger than me but yet she bought her first car before me, bought her first house before me, and is getting married before me…shit I need to grow up.

“My wife will retire next year…then she will cook me some good food and give me romantic time everyday…”

2010-06-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

Africa...a growth engine?

2010-06-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

The stage is set for Africa. The continent hosts the world’s greatest sporting event next week and seems to be the continent that everyone loves to talk about these days.

On November 1, 2008 we were going through the financial crisis…take yourself to that time. Lehman Brothers had gone bankrupt, AIG was teetering, people were expecting financial Armageddon. It was the end of the ‘Old’ world as we knew it. On that day, I felt compelled to write about the five themes that I believed would be the drivers of growth (and profit) for the next 2 decades: food, security, health, Africa, and water. 1.5 years later, let see how well I did. Since Africa seems to be a hot topic these days, I inserted the paragraph that I wrote at the time:

Here is an excerpt from my blog on November 1, 2008:

“Africa: Bottom line, things can't get any worse. It might seem like Armageddon is approaching the Western world - but it has been on Earth for the last few hundred years...in Africa. The continent was raped by the Europeans during colonization and sloppy seconds were divvied up by Europe's mighty for more pillaging. Today, Africa is festering with AIDS, political unrest, poverty - among other things. Much of the population is destitute and the only place to go is up. For the first time (ever), drug companies will be investing more marketing in Africa than the US. The US has always been the biggest market, but drug companies see Africa as a future lucrative market. With firms seeing their usual markets implode, they will undoubtedly start looking to invest in places that are fresh and have the greatest potential for upside. Africa doesn't have a credit crunch because Africa doesn't have credit markets! Their problems are solvable, their problems are ones that we understand - these were the very same problems that Western society fixed earlier: political unrest (WWII, WWI, European revolutions), AIDS (epidemics such as plagues, and other illnesses), poverty (Europe, Russia). The current issues in Africa can be solved with a little know-how and money (both of which Asians, Americans, and Europeans have). The current economic problems in North America and Europe do not have a viable solution since no one knows what the hell is going on - it isn't a tangible issue that can be solved via round table discussions, medicines, or money. You will see that African investment will increase and first-movers will have the special honour of helping rebuild that continent into a large consumer based market that can replace the floundering Americans and their non-saving ways. The Americans built the US on the back of the African man, and now they will try to build the US (again) on the back of the African man - except this time it might help Africa prosper as well. The other benefit of Africa is the vast amounts of land they own which are currently being farmed with basic techniques -- add some technology, fertilizer, and operational efficiencies and a farm producing 1 tonne of corn may begin to produce 4 tonnes of corn. Recently, Daewoo (a large company in Korea) leased 1.3million acres of farmland in Madagascar. They will use this 99 year lease to produce corn for their country. Kuwait and Saudi Arabia are in similar talks with Sudan, Ethiopia, and South Africa”.

Welcome to the party everyone.

Now that I am working in Cairo, I am reading up on all the reports about African growth. What this continent means to multinational corporations. Here are some interesting points from a recent McKinsey study:

As many as 200 million Africans will enter the consumer goods market by 2015. 200 million? 200 million more consumers being able to buy everything from Jockey underwear to Pringles potato chips…Proctor and Gamble’s wet dream.

Infrastructure spending is rising faster than the world as a whole. Africa is planning spending money to build new roads, bridges, power plants, and sewers – everything that makes our cities in North America livable.

The African continent has more than 25% of the world’s arable land. Future breadbasket anyone? Undoubtedly as China, India, and the Middle East look to secure farmland to feed their populations, Africa is going to be top of mind for them.

Yes, the above points are fine and dandy (and tie with my initial thoughts back in 2008 – thanks McKinsey). However, all of the above is a crapshoot if we cannot solve the following issues first: food, water, security, and health. (My other four factors).

What good are consumer market, farmland, and infrastructure if one cannot ensure stable food supplies, clean water, security, and health? How do we actually get workers into Africa to spend time to build all of this? I mean, you can’t even go to most countries without getting malaria tablets. It is common news to hear about muggings and kidnappings. Sure we can go build huge dams and bridges and employ Africans in factories, but without being able to provide for Maslow’s basic needs – then all of it will be in vain.

For the couch investor out there – I would seriously look at companies that are world leaders in water treatment, food, security (commercial/residence), and healthcare. I don’t have any money or I would be investing in the following:

Nestle
Veolia
P&G
Unilever
Brinks
G4S

I’m sure I’m missing a bunch of good European and Chinese companies. But you get the idea.

Africa is only going to be the growth engine we hope it to be, if and when we figure out how to travel there without having to take 18 different injections and drink water from the taps.

I got sand in my shoes….

2010-06-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

Picture this - the population of Canada living in a sprawling city not much larger than the GTA. You’re picturing Cairo – the largest city in Africa and the Arab world. Its subway system (the only one in Africa) transports over 700 million clients annually…700 million. Needless to say, the streets are often a parking lot.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I feel privileged to be part of this soup of the history, the future, the Jews, Muslims, Christians, and tons and tons of tourists. When I arrived my senses were exploding. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the listening – I felt like a baby being born into another world. In a sense, I was. Actually, I had lived for 8 years in Aleppo, Syria – in another life…a long long time ago. I was struck by how new everything seemed, but also how familiar it was to me at the same time. I feel a certain kinship with the Arabs…the harsh tongue, their disregard for personal space, the “we’re all in this together” mentality.

I initially moved into a hotel close to the airport, Intercontinental City Stars…one of the most luxurious hotels in Cairo. I was a little disappointed when I learned that my office would be in Cairo proper and that I had to move. It was one the best things to happen – I moved from the equivalent of Mississauga to downtown Toronto. The Nile is a stone’s throw from my bedroom now – the Nile!!!

It’s funny, but when you travel alone, you bump into the most random people. Just yesterday I had sheesha with an old couple from Dallas, Texas. The guy looked like a retired executive who was enjoying life – his wife was a loud, big, kind American. He was constantly telling her to watch what she was saying. Then she told me about this hibiscus drink that she was going to make back in Dallas. Her husband rolled his eyes and said “yeah right”. She also told me that she was going to buy a sheesha pipe – she had smoked it for the first time in Cairo and was hooked.

I went swimming in the afternoon and bumped into this older Egyptian guy in the pool. I apologized; he responded “tamam” as in “are you okay?”. I didn’t know whether he was upset or genuinely worried. We got to talking and he ended up being a General in the Cairo secret police (our Special Investigations Unit). I asked him about terrorism in Egypt and crime. They don’t seem to have that problem here, it is just that the economy is struggling with so many people and the youth have no aspirations for careers here. It is tough to find meaningful work. We have it lucky in Canada.

Last night, I hopped into a cab and said “downtown” – not really knowing where he would take me. We drove along the Nile for a bit and then turned left into chaos of people, shoes, cars, clothes, and lights. I got out and walked for a couple of hours – it is fascinating to watch people in their own habitat with no agenda. I literally people watched the whole night. Last night I realized that amongst all the chaos, there really was order. Somehow, someway all the cars make it to where they’re going and everyone gets to park somewhere. Families enjoyed corn on the street and soft cone ice cream by the river. I saw a guy drinking a black juice and asked him what it was…”tamarhind”…or tamarind juice. I bought one for the equivalent of 20 cents. If I was going to get sick, this would be it. It tasted pretty good – and I haven’t gotten sick yet (cross my fingers).

I came back to the hotel and had some sheesha before going to bed. The weekends here are Friday and Saturday. I had one more day before getting back to work…what would I do?

I woke up early on Saturday morning and headed off to the pyramids. The pyramids. You get a strange feeling when you walk up to them – a humbling comes over you as you stand in front of something great that has seen the world change for so long. Imagine this – think of Jesus Christ. Sounds like a guy who lived a loooooong time ago right? Now think of this: we are closer in time to Jesus Christ than he is to the pyramids. It isn’t even fathomable. These cones of rock have been around forever (virtually).

It was relatively peaceful, albeit the usual local entrepreneurs looking for a quick buck. One guy took my picture and asked for a tip. I said no, then he asked me to take a picture of him…I asked him for a tip…he said no…I guess we were even at that point. This is how the conversation starts:

“Hey mister, where you from?”

“Canada”

“Ahhh your face Egyptian! Canada dry…very nice”

“Welcome to my country, here is a gift” (they give you a headdress)

“You know what this is?”

“Yes, a headdress”

“You keep okay? Friend. Welcome”

(I start walking)

“Hey mister, no tip?”

“For what?” (I gave him back the headdress)

“You give me something”

“No”

“You take picture”

“No”

“You take camel, very good right, giza, sphinx, panorma, very special”

“No”

I literally had the same EXACT conversation with like 8 people.

So I spent the afternoon walking around these monuments, and then sat on a rock and read. What a wicked start to the day.

When I was done, I hopped in another cab and went to Old Cairo. This is a maze of copper trinket shops, mosques, coffee houses, and mosques. Everything in Cairo is old – the coffee shop I stopped at to have some tea and sheesha has been open for 200 years. They have been serving tea in that very spot for 200 years! I sat next to a dutch guy who was here for his bday – a four day getaway. He shared his travel stories with me, talked about life and then we parted ways.

I’m not back in my room – ready to pass out and let the sun’s warmth soak into my being.

greasing the wheels after a long hiatus

2010-05-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

My back is soaked with sweat ... it is friggin hot in Toronto. Yes, this is, indeed, how I have decided to start my first blog in over a year. For those that don't know me, I used to be an avid blogger. It all started when I went to Singapore - over 6 months I cranked out 61 posts. Wow! Then I lived in California for a little while and did a little typing here and there...my last blog was March 2009. It has been too long. I love blogging and I also love being hot and sweaty...it just feels right! (Must be the Sri Lankan in me).

So you're probably wondering why I'm posting right now. Or more importantly, why I haven't posted in over a year? In short - I am not inspired when I'm in Toronto. There are too many directions that one gets pulled in, I don't have time to gather my thoughts, and there is already too much information out there, how am I going to add my perspective in a meaningful way? Now that I'm leaving Toronto, I am looking forward to sharing the adventures of the next few months with you. The plan is to work in Cairo for 50 days and Nairobi for 51 days. Join me :).

As a quick introduction, let me tell you what I do for a living. I'm an auditor. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Haha - yes that is what I would think as well. Allow me to explain, though, it isn't that boring! Many of you know that I joined GE Capital shortly after school - my dream company. After three years on the sales side, I decided that I want to take advantage of GE's global presence and reputation for being a management factory. I decided to join the Corporate Audit Staff. In short, it is a group of roughly 400 young professionals who engage in GE businesses around the world. From Healthcare to Energy, from NBC to Capital - we make sure that the numbers are properly stated and also serve as internal consultants. We share best practices from business units and work closely with GE business leader to just make things better. Have I lost you yet? Hahah - yes I did say that I enjoyed this. Anyway, I am lucky enough to be staffed on an audit in GE Egypt and GE Kenya. This blog will hopefully chronicle my experience of working in the Middle East / Africa. I am hella excited (as our friends in Cali would say).

Before I sign off, I have to remark on the Israeli attack on the ships bringing aid to Gaza. Absolutely disgusting, why does the Israeli government get to commit crimes against humanity? Society has a short memory, but not too long ago these idiots executed an assasination in Dubai...remember? In that operation, they actually used forged British and other EU passports. What the hell happened with that story? Nothing. Someone cut someone a cheque and all was forgotten. Is it me or does anyone notice that we always hear about problems in the news but never any solutions? Maybe we should start a TV show that follows hot stories until the bitter end. Almost like Unsolved Mysteries - but for the world. Anyway...I'm boarding my plane soon - I'll be in touch ;)

a few gripes

2009-03-24T15:45:00.001-07:00

I swear, I'll have a positive post up here soon...but I read through today's papers and my stomach turns at what I see. Aside from the shitstorm financial debacle, there is the continuously stupid things current corporations are doing to grow. One glowing example is the recent stupidity in the pharma markets.

In the last couple weeks, Merck acquired Schering-Plough (Dr. Scholl's, Coppertone, and some drugs) for $41.1BN. Why? Because Merck has a many drugs that are coming off patent soon and thus they will lose out to generic drug makers who can make the same drugs for much cheaper. So Merck doesn't have new medicines to sell and thus has to buy another company to maintain sales. This is the same thing as you raising your hand in class and saying "teacher, I don't think I have the brains for tomorrow's exam, so I'm partnering with my friend and we'll hand in a test together". The VERY REASON for drug companies is so that they can come up with drugs...now they're spending BILLIONS of dollars to cover that fact up? Whats going to happen when the newly acquired company fails to bring new drugs to the table? Fack...

Aside from Merck, Pfizer is looking to buy Wyeth and Genentech is being bought out as well. This are huge companies that sell everything from Sudafed to Lipitor...imagin the bullshit consumers are going to have to go through....

Yesterday, today, tomorrow...its all the same and yet never is...

2009-03-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

I sit here in my room, comfortable and content...the sun streams through my shutters on this Sunday afternoon...it is calm. Mariah and Busta Rhymes ease out of my beautifully premium speakers "baby if you give it to me, i'll give it to you as long as you want....la la la la". I breathe in the scent of my incense and consider myself to lucky to savour this quiet and private moment. As this goes on in my room, the wind outside howls, carrying the sounds of the mischief that has been going on in the world. The wind brings with it the cries of horror and devastation from warzones across the world, from the silence of cash registers in the US as American purses remain zipped, and the hint that something big is going to happen in the next few months. If our lives were a movie, this would be the part where all passengers are in a car hinged over a cliff after a terrible accident...will it teeter and crash to the bottom or will it balance out and land on the right side of the cliff...allowing the passengers to gingerly crawl out the broken front windshield. No doubt, everyone is expecting a turn for the better or worse with respect to the financial carnage seen in the last few months. Fuck, I'm just as sick of it as you are - but don't you ever wonder how we got here? I mean take a step back and try to think of the big picture...you're probably pointing the finger at American greed, globalization, the rise of the the quarterly growth metric, the big banks, or maybe even the government? What about the Muslims?? Somehow they're always to blame no? What...they're not? Whew, the financial meltdown was a godsend for the islamists...no one really cares about the Taliban anymore do they? Haha -- the credit markets have even dried up for so called terrorists. Anyway, after much thinking...here is my conclusion: we are all to blame, the system we have created is to blame. I know, I know that's the easy way out, but give me a second and let me explain:

The way I see it, the human race is all about rules and regulations. As kids, before we played a game, what did we do? Yes, of course, someone would have to explain the rules of the game and the penalties for breaching those rules. In ancient times, humanity was ruled by the law of the jungle - the biggest, hairiest men ran things because they'd pound the living crap out of anyone that disobeyed. Then came the law of the king, the law of religion, and finally the law of the state. Okay, so we like rules and regulations.

These rules and regulations are set up and essentially create an acceptable path through the wilderness of life, so to speak. The forest that we all exist in and try to make the best of. So far we have this forest with a relatively defined path for us to travel through, based on laws and society's consensus on whats right and wrong. Somewhere a whistle blows and the masses take off into the forest, racing to be ahead of the pack - what we commonly refer to as the rat race.

Step back and picture this...a herd of people rushing through, kicking up dust and pushing ahead to attain that ever present reward or success...no one really knows whats at the end of the race but the sole reason of life is to produce children while running in this race and make sure that you teach them well enough to move even further ahead in this race. People do this in different ways: education, hard work, networking, whatever - the end goal being that you end up further along in this crowd than when you began. Along the way some folks, while running, figure out that this is stupid because there is no end destination in sight and no reason to be killing yourself running ahead for the sake of it. So they step out of the rush and wander in to the forest, hence the term ‘smell the roses'. These lucky individuals get to spend the rest of their days walking and resting where and whenever they feel like. These people get their jollies by not moving ahead in the rat race, but by learning to grow things, and engaging in activities that nourish their senses of well-being. I think of artists, writers - people who chose their passion over the urge to become VP at FuckingEmployeesintheAss.Inc (yes, each and every one of us make that decision everyday - where do you stand?).

There are all sorts of people doing all sorts of wierd things to get ahead - some work, some don't but generally speaking the overall theme is the same - a tightly packed herd of humans running through this defined path, snaking through the wilderness of life. As time goes on, the snake becomes more unruly, longer, and faster. Think of the momentum building up. Once every few lifetimes, this herd runs into a cliff...guess what happens...

The farthest ahead (the wealthiest) are so far ahead of the running public that they spot the cliff and are able to side step without the thrust of the masses behind them. Then we have those that are infront of the crowd, but just barely…these are the ones that see the cliff and yell “OH SHIT”. But its too late…the crowd can’t stop in time and a bunch of people are pushed off the cliff. Now the longer the crowd has been running the faster they’re travelling and the more people running - hence it takes longer to put the brakes on this herd. This is where we are now…we’re screeching the brakes, finally realizing that all this running has been useless. But again…its too late…people are falling of a cliff. Eventually we will be able to slow down and actually have the crowd stop or move back – but then what do you? A new path has to be created and then another whistle needs to blow…only to start it all over again. Where do you think we have reached in this whole slowing the herd thing? If you picture October 2008 the day we hit the cliff, then one can assume a few things: firstly, the truly wealthy aren't affected because they saw the cliff way ahead and stepped out of the carnage. Sales of ultra-luxury goods HAVE NOT slowed (from a documentary i saw on cnbc). The second thing we can assume is that many people have been pushed off a cliff, including blue collar workers and executives at AIG who had to give back their bonuses - as time passes we'll have a more accurate recount of those that have perished at the bottom after being flung off the side by the blood-thirsty craze of capitalism (okay a little dramatic but you get the idea).

I have a question! Where are all the poor people in this equation? Who the fuck cares? No...I'm kidding...ahh the poor people. Well, I'm glad you ask. They’re so in the back that it doesn’t matter whether we’re running or off a cliff…its not going to matter to them anyway. They're the last to arrive and the last to leave. While the herd is figuring out which direction to run in again, the poor are at the back and really haven't felt anything - they may not even know we're in the shits. I mean really, do you think the millions of people living on the streets around the world really care if AIG is worth a buck now? Does their day to day life change whatsoever? Nope. So the poor people hang out in the back and wait for things to get moving again.

All this doom and gloom, where is the good news in all this? Well folks - this cliff thing happens only once in a while...this is a chance to get out there, figure out whats good and help start rebuilding a path for the herd to run on again. This is a period of resetting, things don't have to look the way they used to...our generation has the once in a century opportunity to create a new system and way of life. Of course it will crash again...but yesterday, today, tomorrow, is all the same isn't it?

The End of One World...The Beginning of Another...

2008-11-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

Every computer comes with one...a reset button. Its only purpose is to reboot the cpu when something has gone wrong...it reloads the programming language as the developer had intended and starts right at the beginning. When one pushes that button, fingers are crossed, hoping that whatever screwed up the system in the first place is easily fixed with the reset.

Now take that notion and apply it to human society. Once in a while there are periods that require the proverbial 'reset' button to be pushed. Things have gotten so bad that people need to go back to the drawing board and devise laws and regulations that allow us to get back on track and avert certain disaster. When Hitler decided to invade much of Europe in hopes of world domination, it was time for a reset. After WWII, laws and regulations were set up to avoid future conflicts. Trading laws, economic policies, etc. were erected to make sure that the winners (US, UK) would benefit from the carving of the pie we call Earth.

This blog is not about the current state of affairs. Instead it is about what happens during these key times of change. Based on my understanding of the world, I believe that society goes back to the basics. Essentially, a 'reset' button is pushed and people literally go back to the basics.

The past few decades have been wrought with good fortune - sure we've had the inflationary 70's, the Cold War, and the Asian crisis...but for the most part there was always progress. This progress was based on the faith that someone somewhere was intelligent enough to keep the car on the road. I think we can all agree that the car has veered off a cliff in the last few months. Previously stable institutions like banks, governments, and automakers have suddenly become shells of their former selves. How did things fuck up so badly? No one really knows. What we do know is that this whole problem essentially sits on the philosophy of buy now pay later.

This philosophy was predominately financed by Americans borrowing savings from the Chinese and spending everything they had. The new piggy bank was the home equity (the value they thought their homes were). Now with real estate in shambles, it is time to pay up. This situation will be discussed in my next blog. For now I want to focus on the fact that things are fucked up and instead of a shit storm we're going to have a shit hurricane/typhoon/tsunami...so get your rain jackets out and stay away from any and all fans.

"Okay Shan, things are going to get worse - so what - stop being pessimistic!" I agree...I do hope I am wrong, but if I am right, here are the themes I expect to emerge:

Food: The food we eat these days are all processed. Everything we put into our mouths have been manufactured in one way shape or form. Fruits? Processed. Veggies? Processed. What will happen is that as companies cut back labour and capital, we will start to see more and more issues with our food supply. A 10 person shift becomes 7 people - what do you think will get reduced? Of course, instead of 4 wipe downs a day, they'll start cleaning the equipment maybe twice. Instead of 72 hour expiry dates, they'll extend to 84 to preserve inventory and so on and so forth. With the onset of food scares, society is going to run into the arms of farmers toiling their fields the old fashioned way. This will increase the prospects for basic agriculture companies and the food giants that own much of our food supply. i.e. Nestle, Unilever, and companies that manufacture raw inputs for farming (seeds, equipment, water treatment, etc.)

Security: When society becomes generally poorer, crime generally increases. Add to that the threat of terrorist attacks and online identity theft and cyber crime; we concoct a perfect market for security companies. I believe that firms providing online security, manned security, personal and commercial security, and security equipment/consulting will do well. Such names as G4S, GE, ADT, Norton, McAfee, Raytheon, General Dynamics, and other security firms in India/China (that I don't know about). I bet you their phones are ringing off the hook in Mumbai as I type. Makers of body armour, weapons, urban warfare, and military weapons will also benefit. Security will also increase as the need to protect farms, water, and other basic essentials will rise.

Health care: This theme goes in conjunction with the Food theme. As we get food scares and safety measures become more lax - we will have frequent outbreaks of diseases. Health care companies will benefit in such times, but they'll also do well due to the fact that one of the only clients spending money in the next decade will be the government. In Canada, the government will continue to spend large sums on health care - with the increase in usage (as more and more people become sick from stress and eating cheap food), the system will teeter to the point of collapse...enter private health care. I envision that in the next five years, private health care will become prominent in the Canadian landscape. This will be driven by long lines in the waiting rooms (we had long lines in good times, imagine during bad times). The wealthy will lobby the government for the right to open their own clinics. Of course Ottawa will oblige as it will be a tax revenue source in a dismal economy. The US will also spend more money on health care - people become relatively poorer (layoffs, smaller incomes) and so don't take as much care of themselves. The already sick will minimize health care bills and reduce pill intake or push doctor appointments further out - this will make them even more ill when their bodies retaliate and they end up in emergency. Drug companies with drugs in chronic illness and depression segments will benefit, as will equipment makers (Baxter, GE, Siemens), and raw inputs for hospitals (think insulin, and all those other items that are one time use only - syringes etc.)

Africa: Bottom line, things can't get any worse. It might seem like Armageddon is approaching the Western world - but it has been on Earth for the last few hundred years...in Africa. The continent was raped by the Europeans during colonization and sloppy seconds were divied up by Europe's mighty for more pillaging. Today, Africa is festering with AIDS, political unrest, poverty - among other things. Much of the population is destitute and the only place to go is up. For the first time (ever), drug companies will be investing more marketing in Africa than the US. The US has always been the biggest market, but drug companies see Africa as a future lucrative market. With firms seeing their usual markets implode, they will undoubtedly start looking to invest in places that are fresh and have the greatest potential for upside. Africa doesn't have a credit crunch because Africa doesn't have credit markets! Their problems are solvable, their problems are ones that we understand - these were the very same problems that Western society fixed earlier: political unrest (WWII, WWI, European revolutions), AIDS (epidemics such as plagues, and other illnesses), poverty (Europe, Russia). The current issues in Africa can be solved with a little know-how and money (both of which Asians, Americans, and Europeans have). The current economic problems in North America and Europe do not have a viable solution since no one knows what the hell is going on - it isn't a tangible issue that can be solved via round table discussions, medicines, or money. You will see that African investment will increase and first-movers will have the special honour of helping rebuild that continent into a large consumer based market that can replace the floundering Americans and their non-saving ways. The Americans built the US on the back of the African man, and now they will try to build the US (again) on the back of the African man - except this time it might help Africa prosper as well. The other benefit of Africa is the vast amounts of land they own which are currently being farmed with basic techniques -- add some technology, fertilizer, and operational efficiencies and a farm producing 1 tonne of corn may begin to produce 4 tonnes of corn. Recently, Daewoo (a large company in Korea) leased 1.3million acres of farmland in Madagascar. They will use this 99 year lease to produce corn for their country. Kuwait and Saudi Arabia are in similar talks with Sudan, Ethiopia, and South Africa.

Water: Often called 'blue gold'. I wrote at the beginning that society is going back to the basics - well nothing is more basic than water. To fuel a change in the way the world works one needs access to fresh clean water. Water will become a strategic asset for countries, an asset that they will protect as feverishly as oil and gold. While Canadians are in the enviable position of holding one of the largest reserves of fresh water - we have to be continuously diligent to protect it from being purchased by the Chinese, Americans, Indians, and Arabs.

The above is a quick glimpse into what I think will happen. Over the next twenty years we will see the world (as we know it) end and another begin. This world will have the balance of power slowly shift from America and towards multinational companies that morph into semi-government entities with HQs in Europe and vital offices in Africa, Asia, Latin America, and maybe even the US ;).

Stay tuned...

spending money on front line

2008-10-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Okay fine - we all get it (well most of us anyway)...the world is going through a time unlike any our generation has ever seen. For those who think we'll be out of this 'recession' and back on our feet in the next 12 months, then this blog ain't for you - find yourself to the nearest exit and fuck right off. For those on the fence - pick up the newspaper and read...do you really think we can be up and running in 12 months? Society has been putting on weight for the last few decades - do you really think we can shed all those pounds after the heart attack of Autumn 2008? Shit we haven't even found the door to the gym yet!

Many of us work at corporations that are coping with increasing pressures and finding a way to stay relevant now and in the future. Hopefully, the companies we work at aren't waiting, hat in hand, for the bank/government to decide their fate. Hopefully, management has had the insight to save cash, manage debt, and produce value creating products/services. In a few months we shall all know who has been standing naked when the lights turn on. Lets fast forward to that point. So now we're all standing naked in a well-lit room - great - but the next few years after that will determine which ones get to stay in this well-lit room and which ones get led to certain death. Which companies will survive, and more importantly, why will they survive? Why is this an exciting exercise? No, not because I am some sort of business geek, but because we all either work or are invested in corporations. For better or for worse capitalism has prevailed and made corporate enterprise the only vehicle through which to create wealth. (Whether you own your own business or work at one).

Here are two words that will separate the winners from the losers: customer experience. I don't mean the 1800 numbers on the back of peanut butter jars - "yes, hello...my nuts are too salty, can I please get a refund?". I mean the true customer experience - the smell, touch, sight, taste, and sound of doing business with a particular service or product. Every single time we transact with a company we receive a customer experience. Remember that old adage: "people don't remember what you told them, but how you made them feel"? Well, this is exactly what I am talking about. Think about the last time you bought something -- do you remember what the sales person said? Maybe. But I'm sure you remember how you felt when you bought the product and how you felt when you left the transaction. I'll give you an example:

I recently walked into the Apple store at Fairview Mall. Now this is an experience...

Touch: Everything was smooth to the touch, with soft clean lines and new age plastic.
Sight: In line with the clean chic image, the store was minimalist, a lot of whites, and loud pinks, green, etc. The shadows of people dancing were there too but that didn't take away from the Apple logo - notice that there are no faces per say? The product is the face of Apple.
Sound: I know there were people in there talking, but for some reason I felt like there was no sound at all - it was a very peaceful environment.
Smell: Nothing that I can recollect - again speaking to the clean, chic image of the brand.
Taste: Haha, I sure didn't lick any cpus but I'm betting it would have tasted like an Apple? Lol - gay humour...no for real...obviously I didn't taste anything but that is part of the experience. I've also been in clothing stores where the perfumes in the air can almost be tasted - producing a negative 'taste' experience.

So needless to say, the Apple store experience was a positive one. My sixth sense (my gut) was drawn to the presumed quality of the product and the simplicity of its design and function. I didn't buy anything - but my next computer will be an Apple. There - they've converted an HP lover by creating a tight, well-supported community of product enthusiasts. If I buy a Mac I'd feel part of this warm and fuzzy family that create cool applets and have Genius Bars at the stores for any and all Apple related questions. Do you see Dell, HP, or Lenovo doing the same? Talk about different experiences! Dell spells out I-N-D-I-A in Hindi...they are a pain to deal with and the online experience isn't as graceful as the Apple Store at Fairview. So will Apple ride the economic storm on a profitable horse?? Perhaps - but I will guarantee that they won't be the first few cpu companies to bite the dust. Why? Simple - they get customer experience.

Now don't get me wrong - one doesn't need to spend millions of dollars on marketing and design to excel at customer experience. One just has to capture that essence of what people expect and look for when coming to deal with you. A good example is the Dollarama - when I go to the dollar store I expect cheap, made-in-China shit. But how many of us have gone into dollar stores and seen messy aisles, cheap crap, and nothing too great? Well walk into a Dollarama...you'll be surprised with the stuff that you can get for a buck...plus its pretty clean and organized. Did they spend a ton on marketing and design? Nope. They merely figured out what they stand for and did it well. To make it even clearer; check out these brands...one has a loyal following that aren't too price sensitive and the other is a well-known brand but can easily lose out to a cheaper product:

New Balance vs. Nike (people LOVE NB, people like Nike)
Apple vs. HP/Dell (people LOVE Apple, people like Dell)
Britney vs. Christina (people LOVE Britney, people like Christina - okay I think Christina is way more talented but people go NUTS over Britney...why?)
BMW vs Benz
Toyota vs GM
Ferrari vs Lambo
Tiffany's vs Birk's
Le Chateau vs Urban Behaviour
GE vs ING (lol - shout out to toops)

Anyway - you get the idea. The company's that 'get it' will have an easier time keeping and stealing customers from those that don't. If I were a CEO I'd be investing money in my front-line people right now...they're the ones who have to go the nine yards to ensure delightful experiences for us shoppers. Cash is gonna be tight for the next little while - why shouldn't you be smiling when you're spending it away??

BEACE

Its been a while...

2008-10-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time that I actually posted to this blog...it has been a while - for real. A part of me didn't want to comment on the things going on in the world; it almost feels too futile to bring attention to matters that matter. Who cares? It seems that the older I get the more I realize that shit doesn't really matter...the world is bound to a fate that is predominantly dictated by dumbass politicians and narrow-minded captains of industry. When was the last time we witnessed the "power of the people"? It's funny, but the same youth who were taking to the streets in the 60's and 70's are the ones suppressing free thought and individualism today. Everyone looks the same and talks the same.

But then the 2008 financial storm hit, and I decided that no matter what - this was a historic event that needed to be remembered by me and, for that matter, everyone else. This is something that our children will be learning about in school! I figured that instead of letting chaos reign in my mind, I would expel it to the security of this blog. If it were typed out of me, then I wouldn't have to have these thoughts circling inside all day. A little therapeutic, but also a method for me to record today's world so that I can come back and read it in a few years.

Much has happened in the past few months, Wall Street disintegrated, countries are going belly up, China's growth is slowing, and volatility in the stock market is a common phenomenon. It is difficult to remember these historic events singularly - for even one of these things happening last year would have been headlines for a month. Nowadays crazy things happen on a daily basis and we raise our eyebrows for the seconds that they are on the daily news.

Sit back. Really. Sit back and think what this means to each and everyone one of us? Trillions of dollars of wealth has evaporated over the last year, the US is going through a pivotal election, and the safety of our food is in question. How can something large and bad, not happen? Am I apprehensive of the future? Of course - the scary part for me is the speed at which things are unravelling. Now think whether this crisis has effected you in anyway? The internet still works, food is available and affordable at the grocery store, and not too many people have lost their jobs. This is the issue that concerns me: how can all this calamity have happened and our daily lives have not been affected in any significant way? Here is my hypothesis (for what its worth), shit will hit the fan on 'main street' just as quickly as it did for Wall Street - like a silent deadly disease. Consumers will continue to spend and buy gifts on their credit cards for the Christmas season. Employers don't typically lay off people in Q4 as the 'Season to be Jolly' wouldn't be so jolly would it? No. Instead, they will begin cutbacks during the first quarter of next year. Job loss, coupled with higher credit card bills, and lower values of homes will muck up the public in a large way. This is when we will experience a drastic change in our daily lives. Anyway -- apologies for the depressing topic but hey, it ain't my fault!

Golden words

2006-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

The Great Depression is a topic taught in many economic courses - one which holds many lessons that professors hope leaders of the present and future will heed. Alas, history is beginning to repeat itself, not even a century later. The Great Depression is a thing of the past; the Greatest Depression is a thing of the future.

Let's look at some of the trends and similiarities that exist between our economy now and the economy just before the Depression. To understand the story, take yourself back to the early twenties...

WWI had just finished. Men were returning home, women were sex-deprived, and all the war bonds people had purchased during the war were being turned in for cash. For those who don't know what war bonds are: during the war, factories were sanctioned with respect to what they could or couldn't produce. There was no need for leather sofas, if there weren't enough bullets being made. So all these factories were converted to assist the war effort, and citizens led a meagre life with the basic necessities and a corresponding savings. What to do with all this money? Well the government needed to finance their wars and so they started selling war bonds - an effective way to force saving, harness the liquidity of their citizens, and keep people working. When the war ended, factories reverted to producing consumers goods and people were cashing in their war bonds. A lot of money flowed into the economy with an increase in the production of consumer goods. Life was good.

The roaring 20's were characterized by lavish spending, increase in large purchases (homes, appliances, and cars), lower interest rates, and a greater income inequality. While the regular folk were cashing in bonds and spending, factory owners were making money hand over fist.

Lets compare this to the 1990s. The Cold War ended when the Berlin Wall crumbled (in 1989 I believe). America was victorious, the need for billions in defense ceased, and so with stability came investment and peace. A time for prosperity. Innovation grew, mainly with technology and sophisticated in financial markets. People became richer and richer, the advances in financial markets allowed for more credit and thus borrowing increased as well. The spending potential of the average consumer increased exponentially. Life was good. But it closely mirrored the behaviour of the early-to-mid 1920s.

Many economists have theories as to why the depression happened. Keynes has noted that the government didn't step in to aid the economy when it was flailing (hence governments now run deficits during recessions to maintain balance). Friedman stated that the FED didn't inject enough cash into the system. Hundreds of other theories exist as well. None of them really matter because we find ourselves in a simliar position today.

A lot of factors contributed to the economic meltdown in 1929. What happened was actually quite simple. It was easy to get credit. Banks had propped up all over the USA. Many were a single branches who lent credit to locals and was occasionally supported by the big city banks. Money was cheap, times were good, and so credit was doled out it like was nobody's business. But it was. It was somebody's business to keep the all important risk/return in check. With the increased demand in cash (everyone was borrowing and spending money) came an increase in the price of cash, or the interest rate. As rates edged upwards more and more people started defaulting on their loans. The bigger city banks were able to withstand these pressures, but small-town, single branch banks became unstable. They were unable to maintain liquidity with the increase in defaults. Initially the city banks helped their little cousins out with short-term interbank loans. Eventually the tap ran dry and all hell broke loose. Banks went belly-up, consumer confidence plummeted and the all-important spending dropped. So two things happened: the small banks went bankrupt, people had available credit lines dry up and so were unable to pay their bills and maintain their lifestyles, bigger banks had their loans lost (since the little banks went bankrupt), business started to suffer since everyone stopped buying goods, larger corporations experienced debt service problems and they began to default as well. The economy was in a free fall. Keep in mind this story is EXTREMELY simplified and occured over half a decade. There were mini peaks and troughs in this story but at the end of the day the economy tanked.

Fast forward to the late 1990's. Tech stocks were pushing wealth to never-before-seen levels. All of a sudden, however, consumer confidence dipped and tech stocks burst. Hence the year 2000 popping of the bubble. Since then the economy has rebounded, just as it did in the early 30s, but real estate (a leading indicator of future economic health) has reduced (as it did in the early 30s). With people buying less homes, the positive outlook turns sour. Less appliances are bought and all other associated items with a new home purchase. The mood has soured. We currently exist in the most highly leveraged, consumer-driven, unequal level that society has EVER been in.

US currency has fallen to 15 year lows. Foreign investors are beginning to fret. Why invest in North America if they can get higher relative returns in Europe? The Republican will tell you that financial markets are sophisticated now. Credit and debt has been revised to withhold large levels of default. In the 20's when a bank lent you money, they kept the debt on their books and if you defaulted they were the sole losers. Nowadays, banks package their debt and sell it off to other banks in bits and pieces. It is as if you lent $20 bucks to a friend and then borrowed ten from another and told that guy that the first borrower would pay him from the 20 he owes you. So now if one of us dies, I'm only out $10 bucks since I borrowed the other $10 and I share the loss with my second friend. Voila. This arrangement saved the economy many times, throughout the years, but how robust is the system really? How many defaults or interest hikes are we away from another meltdown?

The Chinese currently buy American debt like its going out of style. When you that the US consumer is spending more money, you have to wonder where they're getting this money from. In one word - China. China makes products that it cannot possibly sell at home, so it has to sell abroad (US). If the Americans don't have the money to buy their goods then China gets fucked. So what does China do? Lend the US money to buy Chinese stuff. Its a beautiful relationship until two things happen: 1. The avg Chinese is able to start spending money and buying up goods made in China, so the American market becomes unneeded, or 2. Interest rates go up, Americans can't support their monthly payments and begin defaulting.

Next year, Americans will pay more in debt service to foreigners than they will in taxes to their government!! Can you imagine that? The country is paying more to outsiders than they are to themselves? Note the shift in power. If foreigners are receiving more money from Americans they are going to have more power over US citizens than their own government. A shift in interest can turn the whole country into turmoil.

Another issue: settlement defaults. Bank A owes Bank B who owes Bank C who owes Bank D who owes Bank A. At the end of a business day, everyone pays everyone and all accounts are settled. Ofcourse there are more than four banks in the world and so think of how complex the system is. When this systems fails or their is a cross default where all accounts aren't settled, then we risk a meltdown. This failure is happening more and more and the system is becoming more complex and burdened. On 9/11, the system effectively failed. One account couldn't get settled by another and so a domino effect happened. Settlements were short by $1.4 trillion dollars. If left unheeded, we would have plunged into a depression. The FED stepped in and pumped $1.4 trillion into the economy to jumpstart it back to life. Since then, the system has failed four times, each time the US FED stepping into to bring it back to life.

Conclusion? Don't expose yourself to the system entirely. The notion of losing everything you have isn't impossible. Pay down your debt, have cash in the bank, invest in gold, and own your home as soon as possible. This was true back in the 20's and it is just as true now. I wish I could listen to my own advice...

hello my friend...

2006-11-21T18:22:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since my last post - a while since I revisited my inner voice, listened, and decided to jot down my thoughts. I sometimes feel as though I like blogging to entertain my friends, but I have also realized that getting it out of me and onto paper (screen) is good for the soul. I ain't no da Vinci, but I'll try and empty my salty thoughts for all you to read.

Much has happened since my last posting; I've hated my job, loved it, hated it, and loved it again. I've noticed a remarkable drop in my energy level both physical and mental - working really dulls the brain; thoughts are now constrained with such phrases as budget, pushback, organizational structure, or the very fear of losing your job. The one thing I have learned is that not a single person can convince me that the 9-5 is natural. At times I have to will my body to wake up, shower, put some clothes on, and drive to work. I've degenerated into a mind-numbing routine that will make any synchronized swimmer envious. The process of climbing the corporate ladder is more arduous than I had previously anticipated, however, I will not be satisfied until I have conquered this challenge of achieving success in a corporation - only then will I be able to move on with a clean conscience. As sad as it may be, I need indication from the 'management' team that I am leadership material and given time I will be able to join their ranks. I don't need to join their ranks, I just need them to know that I can. (Get it?)

Now that that's out of the way...we can move on to the star of the show...George Galloway. We saw him speak at a church last night. World-class speaker, a top-notch architect of the spoken word. Was it the same ol same ol though? Yes. The problem with the world today isn't the greedy Western leaders with low morals and ethics, it is the lack of strong leadership as opposition. One of the most peaceful times on Earth was during the Cold War -- why? Balance. The fate of the world rest on MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction). This meant that USSR wouldn't go to war and neither would the USA as they both knew the other was just as powerful and able to wipe out the enemy from existence. The result? Peace. Balance has been replaced with imbalance. Bush et al have free reign of the UN, the most powerful armies on earth, and much of the cash available to human hands. Where are all the people with power who are able to realize the injustices occurring today and why will they not stand up against it? I'll tell you. They have no action plan. The 'leftist' movement knows what they DON"T want, but they are hard pressed to communicate what they DO want. The minute they stop criticzing right-wing policies and press on with their own agendas, they will develop a movement. Martin Luther King and Mandela didn't come to power by naysaying, they came to power by actioning their beliefs. Getting out there and just doing it. Am I a hypocrite for typing this and not doing anything myself? Probably. But how would you like a nice hot piping cup of good old shut the fuck up? haha

In closing, I want to remind everyone that George Galloway reiterated the same thing that I have posted in my blog below...Being anti-Israel is NOT being anti-Jewish they are two separate things. Same goes for the Americans...until next time

blog you soon...

uh oh I got cubed*

2006-09-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

Its only logical that after school, one ends up in a cubicle...I mean that's the way to success right? It it? My first few weeks of work I felt like I was suffocating - my radio didn't work in the car so the morning and evening commutes were times of self-discussion and a lot of internal chatter. I almost felt like I was high - but I wasn't - I was low. I was low because after all the drunken chatter and discussion that I had in university where politics, religion, sex, and everything else was covered I ended up exactly where I thought I wouldn't -- in a cubicle. The office 'rules' that were once the butt of my jokes were a reality...the fake "how was your weekend", the favourites, the haters, all that and more was suddenly a reality.

How many of us read about people who quit there jobs at the age of 56 after they'd realized that there were so many unlived dreams in their minds? We read about their stories in novels, we hear about them on the radio, and see them on shows like Oprah. I never wanted to be one of 'those' people - I'm a free spirit damn it...so its 931 now and I"m thinking what time I need to wake up tommorow for work...free spirited all right, as long as its on the weekends ONLY.

I must say - the last 3 weeks have been much better. Am I selling out? Making myself enjoy it? Resigning myself to this faith? I hope not - I actually like responsiblity and taking ownership of my work now. As geeky as it sounds, work is one of the only stabilities in this world of utter chaos. For those that don't know me, I might sound like a tormented soul - but I"m not. I'm quite happy with where I am; although I don't know where I'm going. I like living my life in 2 year periods. For the next two Imma keep my head down and earn my stripes at GE. The way I see it, if I'm going to sell out and work my ass off in the corporate world, I might as well do it at GE. After that who knows??? What would I do if they offered my a $100gs? Probably take it and kiss my dreams good bye. What if they didn't? Maybe fuck off to Asia and dodge all my long-term debt. Until then, I'll be happy with my cell phone, IPOD, and Nike shoes - or will I?

its political people not cultural...

2006-08-18T17:16:00.000-07:00

So many of you have read my most recent blog and some have agreed, others have not, while even some have had no opinion. Personally I think you should atleast have an opinion on world geo-economic politics - I mean you do live in it! Anyway, for those that skim the lines and don't actually read them -- I am not for or against any culture. My rants and raves are mainly directed at the political institutions that represent said cultures, and some of you sly fuckers might say that the culture votes and picks the people who govern them - hence your fight is a cultural one. Not so - at least in my opinion.

First of let me say that I have nothing against Jewish people or Americans. Yes, it sounds like I'm pulling a Mel Gibson - but my harsh words are never directed at the general public of the US or Israelis or Jewish people living across the globe (people forget that being Israeli doesn't necessarily mean Jewish, there are Israeli Arabs). In fact I love American people - the ones you meet on the street and in daily life. They're kind, outgoing, enterprising and friendly. I lived in California for three months and I didn't meet a single unkind person! Can you imagine? I run into one on a daily basis here in Toronto.

My ode to Jews has to have its own paragraph. Firstly, both of my best bosses were both Jewish -- coincidence? Maybe. But they were AMAZING and happened to share a culture. Speaking of which, the Jewish people are ones I envy. I mean look how tight-knit and successful they are. Their humour is funny (except that I hate Seinfeld and Will & Grace), but I count Fiddler on the Roof as my favourite movie. In general, the Jews have proportionately contributed more to our world than any other single race (I think). They basically developed banking - a fundamental function that allows us to watch THX surround sound and have buttered popcorn in the comfort of our own homes.

So what's the point of this ass-kissing? Not that I retract any of my former statements - I am ashamed that we live in a world where one can't speak their mind without being judged. I once heard a saying that rings so true in this day and age; it goes: "the mark of a wise man is one who can understand an argument without accepting it". Let's get wise then. Remember, don't blindly hate and/or follow what the news outlets want you to believe. Pick up a book and read about these rich cultures that are continuously lambasted in daily media. True, there are bias books out there - so then pick up a book for and against the arguement and you get both sides. Yes, you do end up reading two books instead of one - but if that is truly a problem for you - then you got other problems. The Jews and Arabs have amazing histories filled with success, triumph, and innovation. Don't ever forget that behind a political face are real people who are exactly like me and you.

So when you discuss with friends and family, try and keep the culture out of the discussion and focus on the politics. Realistically, Jews and Arabs share extremely simliar cultures - both hail from the same area, eat simliar foods, and have simliar customs (Halal/Kosher are more or less interchangeable). This war that they fight is like every other war - political and about money and/or land.

Having said that - the Israeli government is still shitty. Their opponents are shitty as well - but assholes with sticks are less harmful and capable of hurt than assholes with big guns - its just common sense.

Peace out people...

news...

2006-08-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

I haven't been good at updating my blog since returning to Toronto. In fact this is my first entry since June 17, the day I landed back home. That is the thing about being home, you have so much to do and no time to sit and think about anything. Worse, you pay people to think for you, digest material and then feed it back to you in the way of newspaper, tv, radio, or books. Thats what the media is right? People who are paid to shove their opinions down the throats of us folk who are too busy shopping, working, cleaning, or sleeping. Much has happened this summer; namely the invasion of Lebanon and the re-emergence of ethnic violence in my homeland, Sri Lanka.

Opinion: I hate what Israel is doing to Lebanon -- only fifty years ago these very people were suffering at the hands of zee Germans. Now they do the same thing to the Lebanese and Palestinians; albeit the Germans were a little more efficient at it.

Fact: This so-called war on terror was prompted by the kidnappings of two Israeli soldiers.

Question: What the hell happened to these soldiers? If you were really looking for these guys would you bomb the hell out of the place you thought they were hidden??? Doesn't that increase the risk of them dying at the hands of their own comrades?

Bush et al have long sold us on fighting for freedom -- has anyone noticed that freedom has actually DECREASED since the war on terror began?? Once pleasurable things as flying and freedom of speech are now virtually non-existent.

Does anyone realize that the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) isn't REALLY defending but attacking instead? Should they change their name to IAF or maybe even call themselves an army - or will this eliminate the pyschological war they're hoping to win by labelling themselves IDF. Sort of like Paris Hilton releasing an album and calling herself a musician. Let's get real -- if it fucks like a slut and looks like a slut -- it is a slut. And before I forget, how the hell does Israel get away with flyering warning notes to Lebanese citizens telling them that they will be bombed and to evacuate immediately. Does this wash the blood off of the Israeli army's hands? Would it have been okay for whomever bombed the world trade centre to send out an email sayin get the fuck out unless you want to die? Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning what the other side does but lets not call these people terrorists. Anyone with the will to kill is capable of instilling terror in other people. So lets call everyone terrorists - except some have bigger guns than others and speak Yankee.

The New War has begun. A war where there are no fronts. No winners or losers. No right and no wrong. Just war. There are no objectives and no exit strategies, only war. This is the REAL war of my generation. Desert Storm was a few weeks in the making and actually played out for a few days. Afghanistan/Iraq/Lebanon are all part of the same war - sort of like a mini-series except no one wins an Emmy. It is almost futile to discuss the current state of global affairs. Where have all the leaders gone? Where have all the men who speak out against stupidity gone?

I don't know, I can't be worrying about these things, I have more important issues to deal with -- like waking up tommorow morning for work. Let the men with guns sort things out, I'll try to keep my head down and follow the rest of the world -- eating the pre-chewed news churned out by our media. Tasteless, flavourless, just news.

Chaffeur, tour guide, and son in California

2006-06-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

I write this update after three hours of driving fueled only by gasoline and high-octane coffee. Please forgive me if I don’t have a game plan for this entry, but I thought I’d open my laptop and just start typing…

My mom landed in San Jose three days ago; hence the title. I actually save a large chunk of my own touring so that I could do it with her instead of re-visiting places (something I hate to do). Yesterday we spent a full 12 hours in San Francisco – a city which truly has its own vibe. The streets, houses, and environment are truly unique – the temprature was around 10C and we had our jackets on the whole time! Meanwhile, twenty minutes a way, people were swimming in balmy weather of around 25C – such is the weather in SF. The locals refer to it as “micro-climates”, due to the ocean, the mountains, and the geography of the area. The fog is omni-present and became depressing as the day went on.

Our day started at Union Square, the unofficial center of the city. Think Dundas Square. There were throngs of tourists out and a few hipster locals. You can tell the difference as the ones without cameras and walking purposefully, obviously knew where they were going – zig-zagging between Japanese tourists like a hot knife through butter. I visited the home of Old Navy, (GAP and Old Navy both originated from SF). Old Navy wasn’t that interesting – but outside stood a person in a yellow bio-hazard suit. Looked interesting.

I went up to her and asked what the deal was – it seems Apple, the company known for innovation and royal hipness, was starting to show its capitalistic, big brother side. Two years ago (before itunes), Steve Jobs stated that people paying for downloaded music should have the right to do whatever they wanted with that file afterwards. For example, you buy a CD and can let your friend borrow or burn it if you like. In yet another case, of a CEO talking the talk but not walking the walk, Apple itunes CANNOT be played on any other musical device than their own ipods and ishuffles. Interesting – a company charading as one of the commonfolk was actually dicking around. The cool part was that there were around 10 people dressed in bright yellow bio-hazard suits educating passers-by – infront of the flagship Apple store. Needless to say there was a beefy security guard between them and the entrance to the store.

We took the famous San Francisco cable cars to Fisherman’s Wharf – a true tourist trap. I hate tourist traps, but it was a necessary evil if one wanted to visit Alcatraz. With two hours to kill I followed my mom as she window shopped – looking to buy pearls of all things. I distracted her and saved us some money. For lunch we had the renowned San Francisco clam chowder and fish’n’chips. Both were nothing special. Been there, done that. I tried to sneak us on to an earlier ferry to Alcatraz but was nabbed at the last minute by an over-zealous, pimply teenager. I think he was trying to make manager of the team. He looked happy with himself as he told us to leave from the line and come back in 45 minutes when our ferry would be leaving. Fucker.

Alcatraz Island is pretty cool. Its another ‘thing’ to be done while in SF, and so we went through the motions of walking in and out of the cells, visiting the barber shop where gangsters like Al Capone and Machine Gun Kelly had their hair trimmed. We checked out the solitary confinement cells and the dining room. We also were shown places in the ceiling where US Marines dropped explosives to neutralize an escape attempt and holes in the cells where two brothers had carved through to actually escape from the island. It was cool to imagine that 50 short years ago, this place was filled with the scum of America. Now that title belongs to the White House. Moving right along….

We returned to the mainland and walked briskly to catch the cable car only to be hindered by city employees. These guys moved like there soles were made of molasses. It took us a whole hour of waiting in line to begin our journey back, and 10 minutes into the ride, the entire cable car system shuts down. We had to walk the rest of the way. A full 2.5 hrs (the actual trip should have taken us no more than 15 minutes), I was driving my mom across the Golden Gate bridge. Now this is something that I enjoyed. After seeing it SO many times in movies it was stunning to actually drive on this big red thing and marvel at how high and thick the parts of the bridge were. I had seen it before on the way to Napa, but this time we stopped and stared.

Our night ended off at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. I ordered my mom a pomegranate martini, and she subsequently got drunk. She whispers to me “Gowri, what if I can’t stand after this?” I laughed and told her the steak would soak it up. I’ve been to Ruth’s Chris in Toronto – fuckin amazing – but the SF was mediocre in comparison. I was a little disappointed; but it was a nice way to end the day and treat my mom to dinner. I exclaimed how energetic and full of the life the city was. She replies “Yes, except those transit workers. Lazy buggers…”

Tomorrow we go to Yosemite Park.

Stop this bushshit

2006-06-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

It was funny to laugh at our dumb Southern neighbours for electing Bush and being conned into two wars for no apparent reason. But now this crap is coming closer to home -- reminiscent of what happened in Germany in WWII. Before the Jews were persecuted, the Germans singled out the gays, gypsies, and visible minorities, lastly they cast their anger on the Jewish people. The Jewish saying goes: "They killed the gays, and we didn't stand up for them. They killed the gypsies, and we didn't stand up for them. They killed the foreigners, and we didn't stand up for them. Now, they are killing us, and there is no one left to stand up for us." -- I might have mixed up some wording, but you get the idea.

We didn't do much as a country, when the US was going through the turmoil of terror attacks and a call to war on Canada. Sure the tree-huggers launched marches, but what did we, the average, educated, Canadian do? Nothing. And now it is coming to haunt us.

The following link is to a story printed May 29, 2006 in the Toronto Star. http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/
Article_Type1&call_pageid=971358637177&c=Article&cid=1148896940789

A few days later, the police arrest 17 people on terror charges. Was the first article a primer? What is going on in this world? Canadians didn't do much when the war on terror had nothing to do with us. Paul Martin and the Liberals ensured that we weren't seen as bed buddies with Bush and his cronies - thus we weren't really targets. A few months after Harper is elected, we have terrorists on Canadian soil. These are Canadians mind you - keep that in mind when people around you talk shit about them. The global media has caught the scent and articles on this arrest have appeared all over the world. Exactly what we need. More people realizing that Canada can really be a relatively easy, juicy target. Until recently, we operated under the radar holding peace signs.

I just read an article about Homeland Security congratulating the Canadians on working so closely with them and forecasting a long and healthy relationship. Do you know what this means? This is akin to hugging the black kid just before Sunday church in Alabama lets out. Guess who they'll be skinning next?

What really gets me is that these people they arrested are KIDS. These 20 yr olds are threats to multi-billion dollar war machines. The US just arrested two kids from Georgia for visiting some of the Canadian accused, last year. Ages 19 and 21. Bringing guns to a knife fight. I would be embarrassed to amass a 400 person army to arrest 17 people, most of them being young adults. 400 on 17? Sounds like a Tyson fight.

Why do our government focus so much on arrests and charges when they should be addressing the problem. Think about the people arrested. They are all different ages, across all different walks of life. That means the trigger that prompted them to supposedly engage in terrorist activity is ominous - it isn't a a single issue annoying a certain people. Something is bothering a whole various type of people and solving that issue should be the goal of our government and for that matter ourselves.

Over the years Muslim people have been unfairly marginalized due to the attacks of 9/11. They are effectively the new Communists. In the 80's the world was afraid of the Soviets, in the 90's it was Bill Gates and the Millenium bug, now its the Muslims. The only way for us to deal with this in Toronto is embracing the Muslims we know and understanding that what we read in papers is marketing. Just like in Brand 101, the goal is a message. Right now the message is "we have terrorists in Canada - for real". This means bigger budgets for police, army, etc. Less rights for the average citizen. And more anal sex with the Yankee rednecks.

We're watching history unfold in front of our eyes. It pisses me off, but in a strange way is exciting at the same time. I just hope Canadians are smart enough to oust Hairpin Harper out of office before anything seriously bad happens in Toronto.

Benjamin Franklin said that any society who gives up liberty for security deserves neither. What do we deserve?

Things that have been 'blogaling' my mind...

2006-06-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes I know. Nifty title. Consider it patented.

1. Since when did energy drinks get so popular? When we were tired we were told to rest. Now we reach for the nearest guarana infused beverage. What the fuck. Its the new coffee.

2. When was the last time that you saw a movie where the bad guys were Jewish? Hmmm.
(Don't be smart and say Passion of the Christ, half the world didn't understand the movie -- I'm not even sure Mel Gibson did.)

3. How come everyone loves hot showers, but no one yearns for golden showers? Discrimination.

4. How can I be happy without being rich first? Shallow I know, but I'd rather be rich and sad than just sad.

5. Why is it that my boy feels like shit leaving work at 5pm even if there is no work to do? Quantity vs. Quality?

6. How come in Ontario you can't smoke a fag, but you can marry one? Thanks slolan ;)

7. Why is it that all the knowledge in the world is at our fingertips, yet no one really knows anything?

8. Marketers use horsepower to sell cars, but nobody speaks about torque?

9. George Washington was a terrorist. He managed the terrorism of the British army to effectively gain independance for the USA and now they wage a war against the very fibre of their existence? Ironic.

10. We boast about the increased standard of living, but what happened to our quality of living?

La la land

2006-06-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

**Apologies for the crazy spelling errors in the previous post - I forgot to spell check and didn't type too carefully. Rest assured I was also too lazy to go back and fix every thing - hakuna matata.

Los Angeles - City of Angels - is immortalized in the giant beast that is Hollywood. Having gone there, I can say this one thing - if you ain't in the entertainment industry and you live in LA -- you're fucked. The traffic, smog, attitudes, and other sewage that is a byproduct of Hollywood is shared by all others in LA. It is only the select few that actually get to enjoy the benefits of money, cars, and fame.

Having said that - I had a GREAT time last weekend. This was mainly due to my hosts: Salah (my old friend from Syria) and Nirusha (my cuz's ex) who is now working in LA. On Thursday I landed and waited for about 2 hours for my friend to pick me up -- it was an entertaining time at the airport, eavesdropping on other people. One girl recanted the story of being chased by her ex-boyfriend's current crazy girlfriend. She had to drive into someone's garage and pretend she lived at the house so that the girl chasing her would keep on going. Nice. This other lady was in LA to party and had given her house keys to a man who didn't know her last name. (I have great ears and a panache to stick my nose into other people's business). Then the requisite Japanese tourists landed with their million dollar Nikons, orange hair, and lime green shoes (which must have cost a small fortune). Side note: Japan and Germany produce the highest number of tourists in the world - its no wonder that they are economic powerhouses - never underestimate the power of travel.

So, my friend pulls up in a 1.8 turbo charged Jetta with silver BBS rims and red calipers -- PIMP. What a start to the weekend! For the 45 minute ride back home we overcame the initial shock of seeing each other after 13 years! Needless to say, it wasn't awkward at all! He lives with 3 others 'dudes' in a complex - typical Cali style. Their house was cosy and one of the guys liked to cook and watch movies - I felt right at home.

Friday was spent at Universal Studios. For those that know me, I am truly a movie buff. Without tooting my own horn, I recently went on BlockBuster's 1001 best movies of all time and I had seen over 800 of them (and yes I do have a life on the side). I was to pussy to ride the rollercoasters (laugh it up boyz, laugh it up), so I thoroughly enjoyed myself on the studio lot tour, Shrek 4D, Terminator 2, and Backdraft. These guys REALLY know how to entertain. Salah signed up for two credit cards JUST so he could get the free bags that they were giving out. What a guy.

Afterwards we met up with Nirusha and her man Al. Al, for those who don't know, is the dude from Hits on the Street, Punk'd, and the movie Glory Road. Anyway, he was mad chill, driving me around in his drop top corvette and shit - that car is unwieldy. He kept saying if he had the 500hp version he would be jumping over things - throwing down ramps and catching air. I believe him.

Friday night we had dinner at one of the best places I have ever eaten. It was like an outdoor market style restaurant serving Brazilian cuisine. I was famished and quickly went to work on the bbq chicken/lamb, etc. I even stole one of Salah's potato wedges when he wasn't looking. Hahah -- shuddup -- haters.

On Saturday I woke up early, rented a car in Orange County and drove up to Hollywood to chill with Nirusha. I bought them breakfast, smoked salmon and cream cheese - only to find that they don't eat breakfast or anything else for that matter. I shared my food with her roommate. We did the Rodeo-Sunset-Santa Monica thing for the entire afternoon. Al took me to visit his boy in Beverly Hills and we also spied on the 'Beverly Hill Estates'. Okay these aren't mansions - these are estates. I had to switch to the wide angle to catch some of these properties. Al kept saying "we got work to do" - I know what he means but you'd have to sell cocaine or marry and divorce George Bush to get that kinda money.

Feeling irrelevant, we needed a quick fix. Alcohol and food. Saddleranch is a cowboy-looking joint with a rodeo bull in the middle. Nirusha and Al kept telling me to hop on - someone woulda got hurt so I decided against it. Our neighbours seemed to be either 70's porn stars or rock stars. One black, one white in ripped jeans, silk shirts and sunglasses. Smoking like chimneys, drinking like fishes and talking loudly - my typa guys.

In a few hours people were singing, drinking, and chatting - a group of girls from another county joined our table. They were smashed outta their minds and making fun of each other. Funny as hell but it got tiring after a while since I wasn't drunk myself. We left to get ready for the club.

**Al made fun of me at dinner cuz I didn't drink while I ate. I told him to wait and see...

Privelage nightclub is an 'it' club in Hollywood, where the commonfolk go to stargaze. Despite the line, Al winked and wiggled his way straight into the doors. I was close behind :)...After a quick tour we ended up at the bar - surprise surprise. The crowd was the same as in Toronto except less ethnic. Think blond hair, white skin, little purse cut and paste cut and paste cut and paste -- over a hundred times. Yes. We had walked into a KKK meeting - no I"m kidding there was some Chinese folks (uhhh Asians) and some black people. After buying numerous rounds for Al and I, I started to develop that perma goofy grin that you guys have seen many a time. That's when Al tugged my shirt and led me and Nirusha into VIP, whispering something about Vin Diesel. This was where it was at. Tables full of Grey Goose (which I helped myself to), and Larenz Tate and Vinnie jamming it up. Some white girl was all over Vinnie, but I managed to scream into Larenz's ear that I had grown up on Menace II Society. Haha - how many times do you think he heard that?? We chilled for a while in VIP - and then this girl started arguing with the man beside me. Vinnie's "handler" shouts that they're leaving the joint, and as they walk by me I say "thats what happens when you give bitches too much liquor". My eyes connected with Vin's as I said the word 'bitch'. He comes up in my face with that look we've seen many a time on the big screen just before someone gets an ass pounding - except this time there wouldn't be someone to yell "Cut". He comes closer and gruffly says "what did you say to me?" -- I repeated myself word for word, carefully looking away as I said bitch, and he laughs, slaps my hand half heartedly hugs me - so true so true he yells.

Outside I got some pics with the guys, and told Larenz to get working on Menace II Society Two. He told me he would -- fucking liar.

Good times.

On Sunday I BBQ'd, swam, and enjoyed the company of Salah's parents. His dad is well-versed on the history of the Middle East and thus I learned crazy shit about Iraq, the Jews, and even Ismailis! ;). At night, Salah took me to Newport Beach - the place you think about when you hear OC. I was too hung over to drink but I enjoyed myself thoroughly - crazy place - crazy crazy place.

Monday morning I left LA. Nirusha told me that I did more in LA in one weekend than most people do in one year. I agree -- I was fucking tired...

Vegas et al

2006-05-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

So I sit here in LAX trying to take it all in. One thing I’ve noticed is that all airports are the same – save a few Asian hotties and Arab bombshells. I walk out the terminal and lo and behold there are flashing red lights…its LA after all – some might have called in a bomb threat, or maybe they were clearing the roads for Brad Pitt and his World Vision partner, Angelina Jolie.

My trip here was a lesson in how different the American people are versus their government. How can such a nice populace elect a bonehead to represent them?? Boggles my mind – I can’t point fingers though - we have our own bonehead up North, but that’s a different blog.

I decided for once to have a drink at the airport bar, corporate style. I sat next two other guys, engineers, as it turns out. We started off with some beers and soon we were going around the bar telling jokes, the guy who couldn’t come up with one had to buy a round. Luckily I said my piece and people laughed – I saved myself around $20. These guys were typical Americans, loud, rambacious, successful, and funny. We exchanged business cards afterwards (well I gave them my email addie).

On the plane I sat next to an older, albeit good looking lady with a HUGE diamond on her finger. It turns out her ex-in-laws lived in LA – if she divorced and married up she was rolling in the dough. She was on her way to teach ethics to a bunch of Deloitte Consulting executives – the day Ken and Jeff get convicted for the Enron embarrassment – how fitting.

Since I’ve only been in LA for about 20 minutes, let me take this time to speak about Vegas and its excessive display of capitalism at its best. That town is like Willy Wonka meets Hugh Hefner. They don’t call it Sin City for nothing. This lady’s shirt said it best: “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to Vegas”.

I had the chance to drive some dream cars (Corvette, CTS-V, STS-V, H2, etc). Lobo and I actually blew the beathalyzer and failed!! A full day after partying – crazy. Lobo failed the second time while I passed – hence he road bitch for the entire time.

In Vegas you see the best and worst of America. Old has-beens hanging on to the slot machine arm, praying not to win, but for another round of the game. You also see beautiful people with lots of money – an ode to the entrepreniul success of themselves or their parents. Either way they were all making money. Another observation was the prevalence of Asian people – they’re EVERYWHERE: That’s my hypothesis. After traveling to many parts of the world I’ve noticed two things:

All people are the same
There are Chinese people everywhere.

People say brown skins are just as popular, but I didn’t see ONE brown person in Vegas (other than my crew) so….

It was over 36C so much of the day was spent swimiming and in an airconditioned setting…

I’m reading the Celestine Prophecy now and really do notice the odd coincidences that the book speaks about. Lobo and I met this cool lady on a shuttle bus. I was complaining that I wanted to hit the Mandalay Pool and there was no way in unless you were a guest of the hotel. She reaches in her purse and gives me her expired room key; adding that all you need to do is flash the card to the guard as they don’t really check for validity. Did I mention she was in Vegas spending her husband’s hard earned money from writing country songs for the likes of Kenny Rogers.

I think my friend is here – haven’t seen him in 13 years…

hey is that a lemon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

2006-05-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been watching a lot of Jewish movies. Not Schindler's List type of movies where the film is based on the atrocities about Jews, portraying them as victims at the hand of every other race. These are movies in Hebrew with English subtitles that show Jews in their natural habitat. Cooking, eating, fucking, swearing, laughing, and living - not dying.

The first film I saw, "Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi" was the first indication that all Jews weren't holocaust survivors or relatives of one. In fact no mention of the holocaust was ever seen or heard in the film. I was pleasantly surprised. It was an amazing movie about life and dysfuctional families - you guys should pick it up if you have the chance.

The next movie (one which I just saw today) was called 'Ushpizin' or 'Holy Guest'. It was another movie plainly based on the dynamics of a holy man and his wife. Another wicked example of the shrewd, dry, humour that I have come to love.

Now this entry isn't a film review, although there may be one (or two) in the future. This entry is about the simliarity of Hebrew, Arabic, and German. Pretty ironic huh? Throughout both movies I kept recognizing Arabic and German words within the Yiddish dialogue. The three mortal enemies of the century shared commonalities in language. Maybe this was a modern post-WWII dialect of Yiddish, but nonetheless it led to this entry.

So the next time you hear an Israeli soldier scream something before he blows away Palestinian kids or a Hamas suicide bomber yell as he explodes himself and 30 other coffee drinkers - you can tell yourself that the murdered atleast understood some of what the murderer was saying.

tighten your dance with God

2006-05-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

I can remember the last time I felt God. It was the seven days that I endured watching my father slowly slip away from his physical form and continue his spiritual journey through different means. For those seven days I prayed more feverishly than I ever had, and I began to feel His presence. It was as if there really was a higher being who was responsible for the magic of giving life and taking it away. I remember making all these promises with Him, as long as he helped my father either stay alive and well or pass away peacefully. God kept his end of the bargain, I didn't. My promises were re-negotiated time and time again, until I felt guilty bringing it up for discussion - I have since not been able to look Him in the eye.

Last year, I met my mother in India to go on a pilgrimage to visit our Avatar or "enlightened one" - Sai Baba. I figured this would be my chance to make amends with God and rekindle my relationship. It was one of the worst trips in my life. We travelled for 48 hours out of a possible 72. I developed food poisoning and couldn't eat or sleep for three days. I took that experience as God's position on me. My aunt told me that the hardship on the journey was called 'sadahna', earning your stripes so to speak. Strife brought you closer to His presence. I thought she was selling me a crock of shit to make me feel better. I have done many bad things in my life, I personally didn't blame Him for turning His back.

They say everything in life happens for a reason. The Alchemist dictates that the universe conspires to get you on your path to realize your dream. The Celestine Prophecy explains that there is no such thing as a coincedence, only a underlying pattern that ties one experience to another. The reason I bring this up is because my stay in California led to a self-initiated quest to become more spiritual and 'better myself'. I had never been so quiet in my life. The first month of living alone was humbling. Initially I thought I was going to go crazy. Loneliness set in and then left. Self-criticism reared its head and I began dissecting my life and purpose. I was scared and alone. The only mental sanctuary that I could think of was going to Sai Baba bhajans (or the temple for the uninitiated). So, thus began my journey towards Baba. I didn't care if He wanted me their or not - I needed the soothing chants of bhajans, the goosebumps that one feels when performing religious acts with a group, and the small hope that something would come of this whole situation.

1.5 months later I am alive and sanely well. I just got back from a Sai retreat. An organized trip by the Sai Centre, within a 'holy camp' atop a beautiful mountain in Northern California. My trip started off well - I felt holiness as I drove through the forest. In awe of the giant redwoods that held ancient secrets of the earth. This was going to be a good day.

I felt great for the first hour. The holy songs gave me goosebumps and I kept congratulating myself for participating on my own accord. Then my mind started to wonder. I looked at all the white people and wondered why they were always the ones with the cool 'miracle stories'. I envied those people in the front who were singing their hearts out with glowing faces. I wanted a fucking glowing face too. Then this lady went up to speak for 2 hours and all she did was regale her experiences with Sai Baba and how special her relationship was with him. What the fuck. I wanted to be special too! That was it. What kind of God would create a hierarchy amongst devotees? I didn't want to hear stories of other people's good fortunes. I wanted to learn something and feel cleansed (like you're supposed to after going to the Church or Mosque or Temple -- right?). Well, I didn't feel cleansed. We broke out into discussion groups; and I let them have it. I was fed up with feeling this way - all this injustice that I perceived in a place that was supposed to be just and holy. No one had any real answers for me - but I did get some looks of pity as if I was a lost soul screaming FIRE FIRE in an aquarium. They just didn't get me.

The groups re-convened and everyone sat down for the next guest speaker.

This was when God spoke to me.

Dr. Phil (his real name - but not Oprah's boytoy), began his speech explaining why Sai devotees teach lessons through personal experiences. He took the next 20 minutes and somehow answered every single question that had been floating in my head for the past 3 hours. Only a few minutes ago I had asked this of my discussion group - and now here was this guy going through each and every one of my questions one by one. Was it coincidence? It couldn't have been. I had goosebumps.

The next part of his speech, was directed to me again. Sai Baba was definitely speaking to me through this man. I'm not crazy - but I know many of you have felt a 'divine' moment where you feel clean and pure inside, on the verge of tears. Maybe you haven't...poor you. Anyway, Dr. Phil began to speak about Krishna. For the non-Hindus: Krishna is an important Hindu God who is notorious for his playfulness with women. Many religious drawings show him playing the flute and dancing with hundreds of veiled women. So, Dr. Phil explained that God as well is performing his own dance with each and everyone one of us. He told us how at times he felt extremely close to God and then at others just had a lukewarm relationship. This was the natural rhythm of the dance. For me to be sitting that very instant, enjoying this man's speech amongst other Sai devotees meant that I had been meant to do this by some force or energy. "God has found you, now you find him". Everyone of us has a god or some higher force that we pray to (rarely for some of us); nonetheless, we were all given a god. In other words, god has found us -- now we have to find him. It made perfect sense to me. He had been with me all this time - I just hadn't acknowledged His presence. I felt great. This trip to California, seeking out Sai bhajans, and forcing myself to come to this trip crystallized in my mind.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not shaving my head and going to chant Hari Krishna as I walk up and down Yonge Street. I just feel as though my generation has lost touch with God - but rest assured he hasn't lost touch with us.

God spoke to me today, and I tightened my dance with Him.

a generation of writers...

2006-05-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

So our generation is typically known for....hmmm....ummmm...well nothing really. I may be wrong, but my parents generation was one that went through WW II, migrated to a totally new land to raise a family, basically became who they are through good old fashioned courage and hard work. In the 70s & 80s young people smoked pot, marched in streets for things they believed in, and produced fashion and music that is still mimicked today.

So what will our generation be known for? The introduction of the net? Ummm, I think that was the gen. just before us..shit...

But this new hobby that I have become to respect and practice (blogging for all you slow fockers) - is really our generation's form of 'marching for what we believe in'. I can actually criticize the world without stepping foot on asphalt!!! Sick huh? This practice, or shall I be so bold to say art, of blogging was a mystery until I actually set one up. In the last 48 hrs, 5 people have msged me after reading my blog. People from India, Texas, UK, and Canada. In 48 hours, my thoughts were being entertained by people all over the world?? I may sound like a fuckin queer getting so excited about this - but this really is a really cool notion. Not only do I get to project my musings to the world but I also get to practice my writing skills and experiment with different writing styles. When was the last time any of you picked up a paper and pen to write a short story or a piece of work for no reason other than to just get it on paper and out of your head?? Thats right. Me neither. Since Grade 9, I haven't touched that part of the brain. I might have flirted with brain power when completing uni assignments, but it isn't the same as when you choose to write.

Okay so blogging is cool because a) people read your stuff and this leads to discussion, b) you get to practice writing. But blogging also gives you insight into people that can never be understood through speech. I recently read both Omar's and Nusrat's (an old friend from Toronto who is now in Texas * see first paragraph) blogs, and really appreciated their talent of story-telling. Is this because they were born with the gift of writing? I don't know. But here is my theory -- I think bloggers know that people are going to read their work and so are careful in projecting a creative and clear conveyance of message. They are able to play with different styles of writing and develop a relationship with readers merely based on the tone and message of the piece. Historically, diaries took the place of blogging. But who read diaries? No one except the person writing them, and so 'diaryists' didn't have to be as careful with their use of language. Imagine if Da Vinci had had a laptop and a blog instead of crusty note books? He would have written knowing that he had an audience and thus stayed away from his cryptic style and laid out his genius plain and simple. We would have teleporters by now...fuckin guy

So what may our generation be remembered by? I can't say, but if this keeps up - we're all going to be a bunch of well-practiced writers in a few years...

Blog you later...fockers

the death of craftsmanship

2006-05-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

I've been disgusted lately with the lack of true expertise in the consumer goods arena. Sure we all know someone who knows someone who is an excellent tailor or mechanic - but why aren't there more of these guys? For example, anyone who knows me knows that I spend the better parts of January, February, and March at IKEA. They have quaint style, amazing prices, and likeable products - but almost everything I purchased had a defect to it. Their customer service was excellent, obliging me with no question exchanges and discounts, but why could they not deliver a proper product in the first place? Companies today pride themselves on 'support and service' but why is support and service such a huge industry all of a sudden? Should people not get it right the first time? Why is it that everytime I take my car to a garage I feel like someone is cutting a hole in my wallet? More recently, I rented a car from Hertz. The return date for this vehicle landed on a Sunday when that particular location is closed - so guess what? I have to return it on Saturday or Monday (and pay the extra $$ for the day). Obviously this doesn't make sense to me as a consumer -- I called, complained, and was heard very attentively. The customer support was great - but there solution was still lacking. I was told to 'go ahead' and pay for the extra day and then the Billing department would reimburse my credit card. A whole bunch of hoola-hooping because Hertz doesn't have software or personnel who don't check the details of the rental. If someone had spotted the error - I could have saved myself 20 min on the phone and the associated hassle. Does anyone do anything right anymore, or have we invested so much in fixing broken things that the first time around isn't as important as the last.

On the other hand, there are shining examples of companies that get it right. Singapore Airlines for example. The perfect airline. They still attempt to ensure comfort and satisfaction to passengers, instead of the geriatric, tight-lipped, fake personnel of the North American fare. Did you know that for Air Canada - air hostess training is 4 months whereas Singapore Airlines trains their air hostess for 2 years!! Nuff said about Singapore Airlines. I recently met a gentleman (I would call him a guy, but if you met him, you'd refer to him as a gentleman as well).

Okay so it wasn't that type of meeting - I was at this Cigar Lounge, downtown San Francisco, with Jennisa's uncle (he is 32 - so relax). There was this well-dressed, white guy, around 50yrs old or so, who had had a few glasses of wine and was enjoying a cigar. We all got to talking and he ended being a salesperson for the Brooks Brothers brand (a fine men's clothier). He told us about the changes in the clothing industry that has resulted in utter crap being sold to the public. I was shocked to learn that outlet bargains are really just that outlet bargains. These high-end brands don't send defective or old season clothes to outlets, they actually make cheaper lines to sell at such locations. And here I was thinking I had gotten a sick deal at Polo or Nautica. Fockers. Another thing he said that should be immortalized on this webspace was the story about the origins of one of SF's most popular bars - the Starlight Lounge. The owner of it began as a shitty bartender, the climax of his tale was, "30 years ago, Harry (the owner of the StarLight Lounge) barely knew how to mix a Manhattan. Now they know his name in Manhattan." Yes, this guy Jack from Brook's Brothers was indeed a salesman. Jack's take on his job was this: people who find themselves in his store have already committed to buying something, he merely guides them to help them find what it is that they're looking for. When asked about the new styles, his answer was timeless. Whatever you you like will look good on you tommorow, next week, and in a few years. Whether it be double-breasted, single-breasted, pink or black - if you like it and feel good wearing it then thats all that matters. You could just tell that you'd love having him as your shopping companion - almost happy to give up your money to him. And why not? Reward someone who does their job well, a true craftsman at what they do - in Jack's case it was expensive suits...

a return to glory

2006-05-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I have found myself to California for the past 1.5 months. Too lazy to start another blog (I wrote one while I was in Singapore) - I decided to let my trip slip by only to be remembered by my trusty HP digi and your's truly. The last couple days I was witness to how insightful a blog really is. Omar and Fitti (for those that don't know Omar was my housemate at Queen's and Fitti was another student officer at Immigration Canada) sent me their blog url's. I hadn't spoken the two in a while and their blog was a refreshing catch-up on how they'd been and what they were thinking about this crazy world we live in. I sometimes wonder out aloud while I'm reading a news story or bump into a cool individual whom I know I'll forget ever meeting in a couple months. I realized that this digital channel was a way to remember those events that make up who we are as people - those events that alter your outlook -ever so slightly- but as time marches on; you forget the seed of that alteration. We all hear, smell, see, and touch things that add or detract from our character - but who really remembers that one thing that made an impact on you in such a way that you look at a certain country, or issue in a different light? Its almost like these tiny grains of experience collect inside you and then one day you have this new and crazy castle within. Would it not be cool to go back and relive those tiny grains of experience through reading one's own blog - or even re-living a grain of experience of a friend who has a blog?? I don't know, maybe this sounds like the drunken tyrad of a notoriously druken fellow - but I swear this is what happens when you live alone. I'm going to be talking to a volley ball next week. (For those that saw Tom Hanks in that movie).

To make a long story short - I'm happy that I've started 'blogging' again. I finally have a venue to present the ideas that pop in my head and then are gone a second later...

Blog you soon...fockers