“My wife will retire next year…then she will cook me some good food and give me romantic time everyday…”

More on that later…

My second week in Cairo. What can I say? I feel like a local already:

Regular arguments with cabbies on price – check.

Close eyes. Cross street on a hope and a prayer – check.

Ability to say ‘no’ and have entrepreneurs actually leave you alone – check.

Smoke sheesha everyday – check.

The workweek here is Sunday-Thursday – Friday is the time of prayer for Islam and then Saturday is a day to catch up on laundry, shopping, etc. My workweek is pretty structured; I’m in the office by 815am – turn the AC on and have a Nescafe while I read the world’s news. I have to say, I’m not sure if this is a cultural thing, but there are always 1-3 older males sitting in a common area having a tea and chatting. I see them doing odd things throughout the day, but I know they don’t have regular duties. I may be mistaken, but I can swear that it isn’t always the same three men!

One of the first things that crossed my mind when I heard I was going to Cairo to work was whether I’d be able to manage in another work culture. It is obviously different here, however I’d say 70% of what is important to succeed in North America is also relevant here. The other 30% relate to cultural nuances…meetings are never a 1-1 affair. People walk in and out all the time, there are side conversations going on all the time, and most conversations begin with about 10 minutes of catching up: “how is your daughter, uncle, aunt, etc”. It is cool; there are traditions that you see occurring in real time. Oh and seniority is visually displayed here…i.e. if you walked into an office in Toronto, it would be difficult to see who the boss was if the volume was turned off at a cocktail party. Here, the most senior guy gets treated ‘royally’ – employees are very respectful of their managers (at least from what I can tell).

There are a gazillion books on how to do business in other cultures. It is really a bunch of trash if you ask me. There are two rules you need to follow and that is it:

1. Treat others the way they want to be treated (not how you think you should be treating them).
2. Do number 1 genuinely. Sure you might screw up when you’re new…but ask, learn and practice. People respect that you are genuinely trying and they will work well with you.

Having said that; it is tough to work in another world – literally. The people aspect doesn’t faze me; it is the technology that trips me up. We are spoiled in Canada/US. Phones, conference calls, net meetings, email, etc. are so easy. You pick up the phone, dial 1 and you’re off to the races. It doesn’t take a second of processing power in your brain. In Cairo there are long distance codes, different ways to dial out depending on who you’re calling, spotty wireless, etc. Yes, so this takes a little getting used to…especially when you’re in a time crunch. Other than, I think I’m adjusting pretty well.

Business in Africa is going through a metamorphosis. This will be a topic of another blog entry, but for the moment, here is what I think. If one thinks of the evolution of the world…initially it was the law of the jungle. The biggest, strongest man won. Period. Then came the law of the tribe. The tribe with the biggest, strongest men won. The next big process came with the law of religion. Things around the world were run based on which God you worshipped. Then came the law of government – the era in which we live now. Governments carve out the world in terms of interests and partnerships. Wars have been fought, assassinations carried out, treaties written…all this to ensure power to a particular government. Finally, I think that governments don’t matter as much anymore…the next era is going to be the era of the multi-national. This is a corporation that has no home base per se – staffed by a global population with sales coming in from all over the world. It has no home and therefore no allegiance. These companies are going to be the ones that define our lifetimes. But as I said…this will all be another post.

Yesterday began lazily. I woke up, read, and watched TV. Finally it was 11am and I forced myself to change and go out for an aimless walk. When you walk out of the hotel you get bombarded by taxi drivers that are offering to take you to the pyramids or some other tourist attraction. They all get confused when I say no, and then proceed by saying I don’t know where I’m going – just for a walk. One guy actually said, “yes, walking is good for exercise” – I’m not sure what he meant by that, but either way: fucker.

So I cross the bridge and start walking along the Nile river – the final destination is the Egyptian Museum…but I’m not sure how to get there. As I walk I see people just sitting on benches and staring out at the river. What a nice sight. Quiet, relaxed, they serenely look out into the water. A peaceful morning. “Welcome to my country” pierces my thoughts. An older, round man runs over to me.

I find out that he is an engineer with a son in Canada etc. etc. Anyway, he tells me the museum is closed until 1pm since it is Friday. He invites for a walk around the city – I oblige – why not? I had no other agenda? Before embarking on our walk, he casually walks over to the Nile river and flings his newspaper into it. My heart breaks…this is the Nile!! He just violated her by throwing his garbage into it – and nonchalantly at that. Since he was so old and funny looking, I had to smile.

Now it’s about 1230, and this guy takes me one 1.5 hour walk under the hot Cairo sun. I’m hot, but this guy is huffing and puffing and sweating, I learn that he is 64 years old. He crosses 7 lane roads without breaking step, merely steps into traffic and holds out his hand. He gruffly yells at the drivers and takes his jolly old time crossing the street. I follow like a scared puppy.

He tells me about Cairo being the largest city in Africa and it being the most important city in the Middle East. After all, Christians, Jews, and Muslims live here in peace and harmony. He can’t be too wrong.

Then he utters the famous line: “In one year my wife will retire. Then she will cook for me everyday and make me romantic time every day. You know Egyptian man needs woman for romantic time you know what I mean”. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Lol. He asked me about my deal. “Ahhhh, no wife. You are a king. You have romantic time with many girlfriends.” Lol.

Then he goes on to tell me about how fat women aren’t good for romantic time. He even points out to a few heavy women along the way – “you see, Egyptian women they get fat when old….ugghhhhh…no good for romantic time”. I didn’t know whether I should ask him about his wife.

So we end up at his son’s store. Immediately I knew I had been had. This old man had just scammed me on a 1.5 hour walk to take me to the claws of his son who was going to sell me something. Whatever, it was worth the experience with this character. His son sells Egyptian perfume. This perfume is special because it is non-alcoholic. In Islam one cannot drink (yes Ullah, you can’t drink) and therefore alcohol based products are prohibited. This perfume is made from pure flower extract…squeezing flowers and pulling oils from them. Needless to say I spent $50 bucks here.

The rest of the afternoon I visited the museum. The highlights here? King Tut’s mask (yes the famous golden one that you’ve all seen on tv) and the Ramses II mummy. This thing still had hair, teeth, EYELASHES…amazing. This man lived and ruled Egypt over 3000 years ago!!! Amazing…the handicrafts were absolutely amazing.

King Tut’s mask is exactly how you would think it was – it is exactly how you’ve seen it on TV. But that’s the perfect part….it is thousands of years old and looks EXACTLY the way you have seen it on TV. Can you think of any other art that will hold its original look and feel after so much time?? It was exquisite. It almost looked fake – made in 23 pounds of gold…amazing. I also saw King Tut’s clothing, etc. including his little linen penis bag (an ancient form of contraception) lol.

It was a long day. I came home, swam, ate, and passed out. I woke up 12 hours later and sat down to write this…