uh oh I got cubed*

Its only logical that after school, one ends up in a cubicle...I mean that's the way to success right? It it? My first few weeks of work I felt like I was suffocating - my radio didn't work in the car so the morning and evening commutes were times of self-discussion and a lot of internal chatter. I almost felt like I was high - but I wasn't - I was low. I was low because after all the drunken chatter and discussion that I had in university where politics, religion, sex, and everything else was covered I ended up exactly where I thought I wouldn't -- in a cubicle. The office 'rules' that were once the butt of my jokes were a reality...the fake "how was your weekend", the favourites, the haters, all that and more was suddenly a reality.

How many of us read about people who quit there jobs at the age of 56 after they'd realized that there were so many unlived dreams in their minds? We read about their stories in novels, we hear about them on the radio, and see them on shows like Oprah. I never wanted to be one of 'those' people - I'm a free spirit damn it...so its 931 now and I"m thinking what time I need to wake up tommorow for work...free spirited all right, as long as its on the weekends ONLY.

I must say - the last 3 weeks have been much better. Am I selling out? Making myself enjoy it? Resigning myself to this faith? I hope not - I actually like responsiblity and taking ownership of my work now. As geeky as it sounds, work is one of the only stabilities in this world of utter chaos. For those that don't know me, I might sound like a tormented soul - but I"m not. I'm quite happy with where I am; although I don't know where I'm going. I like living my life in 2 year periods. For the next two Imma keep my head down and earn my stripes at GE. The way I see it, if I'm going to sell out and work my ass off in the corporate world, I might as well do it at GE. After that who knows??? What would I do if they offered my a $100gs? Probably take it and kiss my dreams good bye. What if they didn't? Maybe fuck off to Asia and dodge all my long-term debt. Until then, I'll be happy with my cell phone, IPOD, and Nike shoes - or will I?